Aunt Pam
by Dru619
Summary: Pam's life is turned upside down when she unexpectedly gets custody of her 8 month old niece. JimPam ch.18 up as of 3.10.07
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The tears.

Wet and gentle as they cascaded down her cheeks. If crying could be beautiful, she's the one that would have made it so. Her hands folded over her knees, head bent downward to her lap. A lump grew in his throat as he watched her from the cracked doorway. A stabbing pain shot through his heart. She wiped a few strands of curly hair out of her face before she began to sob. He couldn't take it.

"You're scaring me you know." His voice was faltering already as he stepped out into the snow, forcing his legs to fold underneath him as he sat next to her on the cold concrete.

"Jim!" she gasped in surprise. She pulled the arms of her sweater over her hands and wiped feverishly at her wet eyes.

"Please don't cry," he pleaded softly.

"I'm not….crying," she growled gently.

The statement sounded a little silly when she had to pause and catch her breath like that. He looped his arm through hers, resting his hand on her knee.

"What's happening Jim?" Pam croaked, on the verge of losing it again.

"I don't know Pam," he answered truthfully. "I really don't know."

"Who's going to help me take care of Savannah?" And Pam started to cry again. As the fresh wave of tears came, Jim was quick to put a comforting hand on her cheek, wiping traces of tears away with the pad of his thumb. Her cheeks were cold and raw, tingling underneath his warm fingers. The tears weren't gentle anymore. They became devastated ones. Desperate. The ones Jim had sadly gotten used to. The ones that fit the routine.

"You don't have to worry about Savannah, Pam," Jim said, his quiet voice sounding weird to his own ears. "I promise I'll help you take care of her."

"She's so small," Pam semi-sobbed. She clutched on to Jim's arm desperately. Her face ran dry, body tired from being emotionally pushed every day. She didn't speak anymore for a long time.

"She's very beautiful," Jim said, cutting into the heartbreaking silence. He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say. Savannah was gorgeous. Pam's tiny little niece. Enduring more then any other 8 month old baby should. Loosing both her parents, her grandmother. All in one fatal car accident that left Savannah in the care of the only one she had left.

Her Aunt Pam.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Pam's cheeks flushed a deep pink as they came in from the cold. Jim wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled into her forehead gently before kissing her frost-bitten nose.

"Will you be okay?" he whispered, still not letting her go. She nodded against him.

"Yes. Thank you." For some reason the light blue color of Pam's carpet, mixed in with the light brown of the walls put Jim at ease. It was always warm and smelled faintly of cinnamon. Something he would have envisioned when he thought of the word 'home'. Cries coming from Pam's bedroom ended their embrace.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Pam said panicked, making a dash towards her bedroom. Jim tossed his wet coat got over the couch before hurrying after her. When he got there Pam was already in the middle of her bedroom, holding the tiny deliverer of the cries in her arms. Savannah Rylan looked a lot like her mother had. Clear blue eyes, a bit of curly honey colored hair perched on her tiny head.

"Aba ba! Aba!" the incoherent babble made Jim laugh.

"She's talking," he said, grinning at Savannah who giggled excitedly, waving a tiny fist in the air. Pam burst into tears, thrusting Savannah into Jim's arms before crumpling to the floor near her bed.

"Pam!" Jim set Savannah down in her crib by the wall before collecting Pam in his arms and setting her on the bed. "Pam." He forced her to look at him.

"Their gone," she moaned, gripping him tightly. "Their gone, their gone, their gone." She cried hysterically into Jim's chest. He felt his heart being slowly ripped to shreds. Every time she rocked against him with her cries of agony he wished more then anything that he could go back in time and stop that guy from drinking so much. Stop him from grabbing his car keys and driving on the road. Pam was supposed to go with her mom and brother-in-law to a family dinner. They had gotten Pam's mother and were on their way to pick Pam up. Then…the drunk driver came screaming around the corner, his hazy eyes barely being able to register the fact he was going over 70 miles an hour.

"It's going to be okay Pam," Jim said softly, gently pushing her head into his shoulder. She sniffled loudly near his ear, gripped him tighter. Jim looked over at Savannah and couldn't help but laugh. The tiny girl had managed to keep a hold of the top bar of her crib, staring down curiously at Pam and Jim. He had never seen anything so _innocent_. Tiny pink Winnie-the-Pooh footsie jammies. The little wisps of hair she did have curled and slightly flattened from her nap.

"Hapat?" she seemed to ask, her tone questioning. Pam snorted.

"That was a Halpert if I ever heard it."

Jim smiled, getting up to lift Savannah back out of her crib. She squirmed around, her eyes lighting up when Jim placed her into Pam's lap. She babbled a few fragments in baby talk before taking hold of Pam's shirt staring up at her with big blue eyes. Jim retook his place next to Pam on the floor, allowing his back to rest up against her bed. Savannah sat patiently in Pam's arms as she wiped away her tears.

"It just kills me that their not going to be able to watch her grow up."

Jim was quiet. It hurt his heart to think about it. So instead, he poked Savannah affectionately in the belly and smiled as she contracted and giggled, her expression clearly stating 'Hey man!'

A month earlier, Jim and Pam had been at Pam's desk doing their normal Jim Pam stuff. Jim was trying to decide if they go ahead and fit in one more prank before the start of the long weekend. Pam was busy giving him her signature silly grin, twisting a strand of hair around her finger.

"So," she giggled her voice breathy in a whisper. "What's the verdict?"

Jim grinned, leaning over the counter.

"I say we got time." The anticipation and goofy smile on Jim's face only brought on more giggles from Pam's end.

"We're so terrible!"

"Shhh!" Jim hushed her as Dwight walked past, glaring at them suspiciously.

"What are you doing?" he asked in an accusing sort of tone. "Shouldn't you be making sure you get all your work down for the weekend?"

"Way ahead of you buddy," Jim said, patting a stack of paper on the counter in an almost affectionate way. Dwight peered over his shoulder skeptically before heading back to his desk. As soon as he was out of ear-shot Pam laughed hopelessly.

"Oh wow…poor Dwight."

"Yeah," Jim agreed. "Poor Dwight." The phone started ringing and Pam sighed.

"1 more call," she promised holding up a finger. "Then we play." Jim smirked.

"Promise?" he pouted playfully.

"Yes! Now scoot!"

Jim went back to his desk but not without tossing a balled up piece of paper at her.

"Dunder Mifflan this is Pam…," the almost automated response came from Pam's mouth without much thought. She never knew it was possible that a single phone call could change her life forever.

Ten minutes later tears were clouding her vision. Her body felt as if she had just overcome a horrible illness. Weak, sick, weary. It was almost as if she was having an _out_ of body experience. Her hands were so shaky she was barely able to replace the phone back on its cradle. She wanted to call out Jim's name. But she knew she'd lose it all together if she did. Almost as if he had read her mind, Jim was making his way over to her desk at that very moment. She got up, met him halfway.

And broke down in the middle of the office.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone! Thank you for reading my first two chapters. I am enjoying writing this very much.

1 thing I must say though is that I _do_ know what I'm talking about as far as it comes to 8 month olds and their development. I live with one and learn from him every day. At the time of an 8 month olds development they _do_ in fact make noises and sounds that do mimick words. Some can even already say 'mama' and 'dada'. Feel free to google it if you don't believe me :)

Enjoy!

Dru

* * *

Chapter 3

"Do you think she's hungry?" Pam asked, staring down at Savannah who sat on the kitchen floor, now only in a diaper and long sleeve striped purple shirt that had a baby big bird on the front.

"It's so hard to tell with her," Jim said. Savannah wasn't that much of a crier. Though when something was happening she didn't like she wasn't shy about letting you know. The first couple days had been tough. The 7 month old was scared and confused, around a person she had never met before.

Pam's kitchen was Jim's favorite part of the house next to the living room. It was the most home-y having its little country theme.

"Are you hungry Savannah?" Pam asked gently. Savannah looked up at her and a coy smile crept across her face, reacting to the kind tone she loved to hear. Pam sighed, looking up at Jim who was seated at a bar stool that was under the counter. "What do you think? Should we feed her?"

"Probably," Jim looked back down at Pam. "I guess we should just go with instinct."

"I don't have any instinct Jim," Pam insisted softly.

"Of course you do," he squeezed her arm comfortingly. "You have instinct enough to _wonder _if she's hungry." Savannah sat calmly on the ground, one leg awkwardly positioned underneath her and the other one lying wayward in front of her.

"It's so weird how flexible babies are," Pam thought out loud.

"Epaaaaa!" Savannah let one of her 'come on pay attention to meeeeee' screams, lifting her tiny arms up and opening and closing her hands. Pam leaned over from her spot at the table and picked her up.

"Oh Savannah," she soothed gently. "Don't be sad." But as soon as she was in Pam's arms she rested her head underneath Pam's chin and let out a content sigh. Pam and Jim both laughed.

"Bein' a babes hard huh Savannah?" Jim smiled. The little girl put her finger in her mouth and gummed on it gently before beginning to whimper slightly.

"We should probably give her a bath and put her to bed huh?" Pam asked, afraid to really make a decision without knowing what Jim thought. She had become dependent on his views since the day Savannah was put in her care. Even though neither one of them knew anything about babies.

"Okay…we'll try that," Jim agreed. "How should we do bath tonight?" The first couple nights Pam had tried using the bath tub to give Savannah her baths but she didn't really seem to like it much, clinging to Pam's arm for dear life. Then Pam had tried getting in the tub with her and that seemed to work a lot better. More often then not Pam and Jim just took turns standing with her in the shower.

"I think we'll do shower," Pam smiled.

"I figured as much," Jim gently eased Savannah from Pam's arms. "But I say we mix it up a bit."

"Oh?" Pam caught the mischievous glint returning to Jim's eyes.

"How bought tonight we _both_ participate?"

"In the showering process?" Pam giggled.

"Yeah! How bout it?"

"But who's going to make the bottle?" Pam asked tiredly.

"Aw that's not a problem. One of us can get out and make it." Pam looked up at Jim half way in gentle thought and half way to tears.

"Has this become our lives Jim?" Savannah started to cry from Jim's arms, hungry and sleepy. No words were really needed.

Jim slowly nodded.

* * *

As Pam stood under the warm spray from the shower she started daydreaming, thinking about those first devastating days after the accident. Things had been so jumbled in her mind. She had lost a sister and a mother all on the same day. She couldn't stop thinking about how she could have been in that car with them. 

"Oh Auntie Paaaaam," Jim's sing song tone brought her out of her troubled thoughts. He smiled, a wet and happy Savannah in his arms. "We need shampoo." Pam had to smile. It was weird standing with Jim in the shower. Even though they both had on their bathing suits and were in there strictly for 'bath' time she couldn't help but feel strangely connected to him. The puppy crush had never gone away. It had become so much more. Only complicated by their difficult circumstances. Jim was there to help her take care of Savannah. It was the most time she had ever spent with him. And together they were doing things she had never imagined doing with her best friend. Like standing in the shower…sudsing up a baby.

"Sorry…I guess I'm slacking on the job."

"Yes…we can't stand for that can we Savannah? We may have to fire you." Pam gave him a look of fake hurt.

"Thanks!" she put a dab of Johnson and Johnson into the palm of her hand before running it through Savannah's soft head of wet curls.

"I think we may be getting better at this," Jim commented, readjusting Savannah in his arms. "It used to take us almost an hour."

"That's because she didn't want us touching her," Pam said, a tint of sadness in her voice. "She was too scared." Savannah seemed to sense they were talking about her. She smiled and cooed up at Jim, reached out for Pam when she heard her naturally soft voice near her ear.

"Do you want to finish up? I'll get out and make Savannah's bah-bah," Jim directed the last words towards Savannah who perked up at the familiarity of routine. She definitely looked forward to bed.

"Of course," Pam took Savannah from Jim, careful not to drop the slippery baby. Jim snagged a towel from the rack and stepped out into the steam filled bathroom. He shook out his hair which made Savannah laugh.

"I'll be waiting girlies," he waved to Savannah who had found a new entertainment in Pam's wet hair. Once the door closed Pam finished bathing Savannah before wrapping her up in a large towel that engulfed her tiny body. Savannah started crying as soon as Pam laid her down on the bed.

"I'm sorry," Pam apologized softly. "I know you hate getting dressed." She wasn't quite sure how to comfort her. That part was still awkward and hard, not coming to her as easily as other things. After drying her she was able to put her in some care bear pajamas without much more of a fuss. She lifted her into her arms and held her close to her chest, inhaling the light scent of the shampoo and baby powder. Things like this were what kept her from going crazy.

"Is everyone decent?" Jim asked, opening the door slightly, a warmed bottle in his hand.

"Decent and hungry," Pam said, raising her voice slightly over Savannah's fuss. Jim took her from Pam and sat on the bed, rocking the baby gently. He eased the bottle into her mouth but the small girl refused to sit still, which was normally the case. So Jim calmly laid her down on some feather pillows that were positioned up against Pam's headboard and fed her that way. As Pam watched him her mind began to wander again. Falling back into what would follow after that fateful call…

* * *

"What happened Pam? Who was on the phone?" 

Pam wasn't able to register the words right away. An amazing feeling of sadness was going through her in waves, numbing all her senses. Her mind seemed to shut off completely and all she was able to concentrate on was gripping Jim and muffling her sobs into his shoulder. Jim could feel the inevitable stares from around the office but tried concentrating all his efforts on Pam. In the corner, he could hear Oscar whispering worriedly to Kevin.

"Come on Pam," he pleaded. "Let's go outside." Pam wouldn't budge and Jim felt tears soak through his button up and onto his skin. He was able to bring her to her feet and haul her out of the office. "Can we go talk outside?" he asked softly. Pam nodded, wiping tears with the back of her hand and keeping her eyes set on the floor. It was the longest elevator ride Jim had ever taken. Once outside, Pam had seemed to be able to calm down enough to speak. Then they caught sight of Roy, sitting up against the building with another man from the warehouse. Pam froze, her hands clenched tightly, out of habit, at her sides.

It had almost been 2 years since she had broken off their engagement. Said no when it came time for the wedding. Things between them hadn't been wonderful since. They weren't hostile but they seemed to avoid each other whenever possible. Now was definitely not the time for an encounter. Jim watched Pam, holding his breath. He became very aware of her quick breathing, partly hyperventilating. She sounded like a beaten puppy that had gone to whimper in the corner with its tail between its legs. Almost as if god himself had decided Pam was in for enough suffering Roy and his unnamed fellow warehouse worker slipped back to continue their day. Jim seated Pam on the sidewalk, fairly quickly as if their time alone was limited. Pam immediately felt the heat being sucked from her body from the frigid concrete underneath her. Jim squatted down in front of her, resting his hands lightly at her thighs.

"Pam…," he began gently. "What _happened_? Who was on the phone?"

"My grandfather…he was on the phone," Pam answered feeling cold tears drip off her nose and into her lap. "They are going to take my sister off of life support."

"Oh Pam," Jim was at a loss of what to say. It had been almost two weeks since the accident. Pam's sister and mother along with her brother in law were on their way to pick up Pam for a family dinner when their car was slammed into by another fairly larger one with a driver under the influence behind the wheel. Pam's mother had been the driver, her brother in law the passenger, and both had been pronounced dead at the scene. They said her little sister had a fair chance of living but complications had arisen early on and the prognosis continued getting grimmer by the day. This was the phone call Pam had been dreading.

Pam's sister had a 7 and a half month old baby girl. Who had just lost both her parents. Jim wrapped his arms around Pam who quivered slightly from the cold and slightly from the devastation that sat uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach. Silent tears traced her cheeks as she mustered up her last bit of energy to gently push him away.

"I need you to come home with me. Tonight Jim."

"It's going to be okay Pam." He wondered why he had said it. There was never a time where he had felt more selfish then he did then. A piece of Pam's soul was about to be destroyed. She was about to lose her best friend.

And he feared that with the devastation, so would he.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Pam started to develop a headache that had been biting at her all day so Jim ordered her to go lay down on the couch while he finished putting Savannah to sleep. Sometimes Pam felt really guilty. Jim seemed to be connecting a lot more with Savannah then she was. It was beginning to show in the way Savannah acted. She cried every time he left the room and, anytime she had the chance, would follow him anywhere he went, crawling as fast as her tiny chubby baby legs would carry her.

It wasn't that Savannah acted out towards Pam negatively but Pam felt like she was being a neglectful aunt. Savannah reminded Pam of her sister in so many ways. And it was hard knowing that before this tragic event, Pam hadn't even spent any real time with Savannah. She saw her when she was born and didn't see her again for another 6 months when her sister threw her a little 'half way to one' party. Now she spent almost every minute of the day with her. Pam never realized taking care of something so small would be such an ordeal. She locked up a lot and panicked, always unsure of how to take the next step forward. It all seemed to come…so _easily_ to Jim. Frustration was slowly creeping its way in. Weren't women supposed to be naturally gentle and nurturing? Wasn't that whole 'motherly instinct' thing supposed to be kicking in?

"Hey sleepy head."

Pam jumped as Jim placed his hand gently on her forehead.

"Did Savannah go down okay?"

Jim nodded and moved her legs, sitting down before putting them in place over his lap.

"No troubles at bedtime. I think it's that fish thing."

Pam smiled. They had gone to Target and found what looked like a fish tank that clipped on to the bars of the crib. Pam thought it was weird but Jim figured it was the coolest thing he had seen in a long time. Of course, Savannah ended up loving it.

"You and that fish thing," Pam rolled her eyes playfully, moving her legs off of Jim and propping her head up on her fist. Jim leant over and gave Pam a gentle kiss on the lips. It took her slightly off guard but it felt so good to have him so close to her she could smell his familiar scent. Something close to a spring-y sort of laundry detergent with a hint of the axe knock-off he used. He backed away a little, blushing slightly with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Pam said softly. She slowly crept into his arms and laid her head down on his chest. Her body felt hot and feverish and her mind was spinning with thoughts she wished would just go away. A lot of them concerning Savannah and their future together.

"What are we going to do Jim?" A lot was behind that question. Not just Savannah. Them. Work. Pam busied herself gently stroking Jim's side, not really wanting to be thinking about these things. She closed her eyes against him, the pitter patter of his heart lulling her to sleep. She lifted her head a little. "Jim?" His eyes were closed but groggily he lifted a hand and gently placed it on the back of Pam's head, pushing her back down to rest under his chin.

"Just lay Pam."

"But…,"

"There's always tomorrow."

"We need to go back to work." Pam heard the low rattle of a grumble in Jim's ribcage.

"Do we have to?"

"Yes! Jim…,"

"I'm kidding!" he groaned. "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Can't we just lay right now?" Pam had to choke down a giggle. He was such a whiner. And at the end of the day he was still the same Jim.

"Fiiiine."

She closed her eyes and fell asleep with Jim's hands resting on the small of her back.

* * *

The bright glaring numbers on the top of the TV read 2:57 when the two were jolted awake by a series of short cries coming from Pam's bedroom. Pam was off of Jim in an instant and off to her room.

"I'm coming!" she cried groggily. Jim squinted, the light they had left on in the kitchen glaring into his eyes. Slowly he got up and followed the continuing cries into Pam's room. He almost wanted to start crying himself from what he saw. Pam was holding Savannah close to her and the both of them were crying in the middle of the room. Jim flicked on the light and little Savannah whimpered, hiding her face into Pam's neck. Jim took Savannah from Pam and watched as she sat at the edge of her bed, sobs wracking her weakened body. It was hard for Jim to decide who exactly to comfort first.

"What Pam?" he questioned in an unintentional pleading tone.

"How come she's crying?" Pam moaned.

"It's okay Pam. She's alright."

"How come…she's…crying?" Pam repeated, having to stop and catch her breath. Her face was wet and flushed with exhaustion.

"Because she's a baby…I don't know Pam…but she's okay now. I promise. See?" Jim was gentle as he sat next to her, allowing Savannah to fist up some of the fabric from Pam's shirt and hold it tightly in her little hand. All she had really wanted was some company. Ever since coming to Pam's house Savannah had a lot of trouble sleeping through the night. It was waking up in a new place that scared her. It only made Pam cry harder when she saw those big innocent eyes gazing up at her. Jim gently tucked a strand of hair that escaped from her ponytail behind her ear. He noticed she was pretty warm. He set Savannah gently on the floor and pulled back the sheets of Pam's bed. "Lay down Pam."

"What about Savannah?"

Jim shook his head gently.

"Please don't worry about Savannah. I'll take care of it. You need to get some rest okay?"

"I'm sorry Jim…I…I don't know what's the matter with me," Pam stuttered softly, getting into bed as she was instructed. Jim pulled the sheets up to her chin and re-checked her forehead. He kissed her nose. "Sleep." Jim felt little hands on his leg and when he looked down he spotted Savannah who was clinging on to the leg of his jeans. "Come on Littles. Let's let Auntie Pam rest." He lifted her into his arms and brought her into the kitchen where he set her into her high chair. She stared up at him as he started pacing the kitchen.

"You know…I really love your aunt Savannah," he started softly, getting a clean bottle from the drying rack near the sink. He filled it with baby cereal and formula before sticking it into the microwave. Savannah watched him, sucking on a teething ring that had been left on the little tray. Jim crossed his arms, leaning back against the stove. "I don't know Littles," he shook his head gently, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know what's going to happen to us."

"A bah ba ba bah abba," was Savannah's answer, banging her hands against her tray, the small amount of force she used barely able to make a sound against the plastic.

"Yeah yeah I know. Bah-bah, bah-bah." Jim took the bottle out of the microwave and shook it up, testing it before deeming it okay to use. He had to laugh as Savannah made a scrunched up little face, all of a sudden seeming to be concentrating very hard on her teething ring.

"C'mon you crazy kid." He lifted her out of the high chair and carried her back into the living room, lying on the couch. He laid Savannah on top of him so their chests were together and stuck the bottle into her mouth. She sucked on it for barely a minute before her little eyelids became too heavy to keep open and they gradually slipped shut. Pam and Jim had gotten a world of scolding from Pam's grandfather when he had come to visit a few weeks earlier. Ranting for almost a half an hour about how horrible it was to get babies into the habit of sleeping on their bellies.

"It's the only way she'll sleep Grandpa," Pam had squeaked softly, near tears. She felt like she was constantly screwing up. Always being compared to her sister in the way she was handling Savannah.

"Get her to sleep on her back," he had said and that had been the end of the conversation. Though Pam and Jim had never listened to what he said. They didn't worry too much. She lifted up her head and rolled over fine. They decided to wait and talk to her pediatrician. Jim lifted his head a little to make sure Savannah was asleep before taking the still pretty full bottle out of her mouth. He went over to her playpen that was between the entrance of the kitchen and the living room. He set her in gently and clicked off the light. His hope was that if she woke up again it wouldn't wake up Pam. He leaned over and peered down at her, her little chest rising and falling as she slept soundly, her mouth open slightly.

"Goodnight kid," he whispered. He gave her belly a little rub and lightly tapped her nose before lying back down on the couch. He let out a sigh. Tomorrow was definitely going to be eventful. Savannah's first trip to her new pediatrician since arriving in Scranton. With jumbled thoughts in his head and a warm patch near his shoulder from baby drool he fell back to sleep.

* * *

The next morning Pam had a fever of 102 and was shivering slightly.

"I want to go with you," Pam persisted, sitting up and hiding her face into her arm so she could cough.

"You can't go Pam. Not like this," Jim said. Savannah, after ending up with more breakfast in her hair and on the cat then in her belly, was clad this morning in a diaper and pink hello kitty socks. She leaned towards Pam and wailed from Jim's arms.

"I'm such an awful aunt," Pam whispered softly and for a minute Jim thought she'd start to cry again. But instead she stuck her finger out for Savannah who grasped it gratefully.

"I'll reschedule the appointment," Jim said after a minute. "Today you need to rest. I'll get you some ibuprofen and juice okay?"

"Savannah…," Pam moaned.

"Hey! Didn't I tell you not to worry about her?" Jim scolded playfully. "I've got it."

"I don't want her to get sick."

"I'll take her to the park while you sleep."

"That's not really what I meant," Pam stated tiredly. "She'll get sick out in the cold too."

"I'll make sure she doesn't."

"And explain to me exactly how you plan on doing that," Pam crossed her arms and sneezed, feeling a little light headed. She laid down back against her pillows and moaned a little.

"Do you trust me?"

"What?" Pam had closed her eyes but squinted them back open at Jim's question. Savannah griped the neck of Jim's shirt and seemed to be looking between the two as the conversation went on.

"Do you trust me Pam?" For some reason, Pam couldn't remember ever feeling so grateful for Jim then she did at that very moment.

"I trust you."

* * *

Jim could almost feel the cold rising up through the rubber soles of his shoes as he stepped out of the car.

"Yeah…cause it's _definitely_ cold out here," he murmured, pulling his hood up over his head before opening the backdoor to get Savannah. Pam had her bundled up so tight it was a wonder she was still breathing. Her cheeks were already pink from cold but her eyes were bright and she gave Jim a grin as he leaned in to unbuckle her.

"You ready for this kid?" he asked, Savannah taking a generous amount of his hair and holding it tightly in her hand. Once he had her unbuckled he lifted her out of her seat and into his arms. Next to them, a mother was struggling to get her son into his car seat; all the while he protested their departure from the park. "I don't have that to look forward to that do I?" he murmured near Savannah's ear, placing a kiss on her curly head of hair. Savannah looked up at him; her cheeks still the light pink color, her blue eyes watering a little from the wind chill.

Jim walked with Savannah over to the playground where a whole group of pink cheeked; runny nosed children were playing, yelping excitedly at each other. Their coats all seemed too small for their bodies and their hats all seemed too big for their heads. Savannah gave Jim a look almost as if to say 'have you gone completely insane?' He subconsciously held her tighter as he noticed a group of mom's sitting nearby giving him a pretty intimidating stare down.

"Jim?" an oddly familiar voice broke him out of his awkward trance. He turned around and stopped a gasp as it rose up in his throat.

"Karen?"

Jim had worked with Karen about a year and a half ago when he had left Scranton. Just a little while after he had told Pam he loved her. She had sat behind him and even though he still had intense feelings for Pam, Karen had provided a sort of home away from home for him. They had grown pretty close over the 5 months Jim had worked there. Communication since then had been strained.

"Oh my gosh! How are you?" Karen asked, motioning for him to sit. He readjusted Savannah in his arms before sliding next to her on the slightly damp bench.

"I'm great! How are you?" Jim asked, smiling. It had been almost a year since he had seen or spoken to her. Life with Pam had taken up a majority of his time. Adding Savannah into the mix of things hadn't done wonders in that category either.

"I'm doing well," Karen smiled gently, staring at Savannah. The small girl stared back before resting her head underneath Jim's chin, eyes still fixed on the new stranger. "So you and Pam…things are working out?" she nodded at Savannah, touching her lightly on the head.

"Yes. I mean…no…I mean…she isn't…," Jim stumbled over his words before pausing to form a sentence that made sense. "Things with Pam have been…great. This is Savannah. But she isn't our daughter. She's Pam's niece. We're…watching her for a while."

"You know…I never exactly pictured you as the baby sort of guy," she grinned.

"What? Why not?" Jim asked, pretending to be hurt. Karen shrugged.

"I don't know. I always pictured as more the dog type." Jim laughed.

"Definitely different ends of the spectrum."

* * *

Jim ended up talking with Karen for almost an hour before she had to get going.

"It was so great seeing you Jim," Karen gave him a hug.

"You too Karen."

"And nice meeting _you_ pretty girl," she cooed down at Savannah who looked at her before rubbing her tired face into Jim's shirt. After watching Karen climb into her car Jim decided it was time to head home. Most of the mothers had rallied up their kids to go home for lunch and hot cocoa.

"Sorry…old friend," Jim explained. Savannah pressed her cold little hands on either sides of Jim's neck, cooing up at him, happy to be on the way to the warm car. "You know…we should really bring your aunt here when she feels better." Savannah giggled. "I'll take that as a yes." As he was buckling Savannah into her car seat another familiar voice was heard from behind. But this time he jumped and smacked his head on the top of the car.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you…,"

"No…she did. Snowy days make her unnecessarily violent," another voice entered the conversation.

"Shut up!" the voice hissed. Jim would have been able to recognize the voices from anywhere.

"Wow…what are you two doing out? In public?" he teased, smiling, happy to see his co-workers. Angela rolled her eyes a little.

"HE wanted to find the proper place to make a snowman," she shot a finger accusingly in Dwight's direction. After months of having a secret office romance, Pam had caught Angela and Dwight kissing behind the warehouse. Jim hadn't believed her at the time but soon things started to click in his head and a majority of it began to make sense. The two were pretty much sworn to secrecy but they knew all too well the feeling of falling in love with a fellow co-worker.

"Aaaand let me guess…the front yard was inadequate?" Jim asked.

"Duh…the front yard is reserved for my snowball fort," Dwight crossed his arms across his chest.

"Ah…what was I thinking?"

"So…how are things going with Savannah?" Angela asked.

"There definitely going," Jim smiled and scooted over a little so Angela and Dwight could peer in at a now fast asleep baby.

"She's beautiful," Angela said gently.

"Do you want one?" Dwight asked as if it were a completely logical question that would follow her remark. It took all the self control she had not to inflict any pain on him in front of Jim.

"When do you think you'll be getting back to work?" Angela asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Soon," Jim answered. "I'll probably be back in next week. I'm not sure about Pam. She had a fever this morning."

"Okay…well we better let you get home."

"Bye you guys," Jim had to laugh as the two went on their way, bickering at each other. He climbed into the driver seat and readjusted the review mirror, smiling when he caught sight of Savannah. Her little head was slumped to the side, propped up only by one of her little hands. Her other hand had fallen at her side and lay motionless over the edge of the seat.

Slowly he backed out, anxious to get the little dreamer home.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for all the kind words. And to my awesomest friend Em who's helping me a huge deal.

Dru

* * *

Chapter 5

"Up…up….and awaaaay!" Jim lifted Savannah off his chest for a third time and was answered almost immediately by a flurry of sincere baby laughter.

"Whaaaat?" he asked her playfully poking her sides which only induced more happy squeaks from the little girl. It was so simple but it was quickly becoming one of her favorite things to do. All he had to do was lay her down on his chest and lift her legs up a few inches off of him and hold her upside down for a couple of seconds. It could possibly keep her entertained for hours. He wished the simple things could still be enjoyed as much as they were enjoyed by an 8 month old whose mind was pure and free from the horrors that were out in the world.

After coming home from the park Jim tried putting Savannah down for a nap but _that_ was quickly overruled. It was okay. There was no other time he felt more content then lying on the couch in Pam's warm, cinnamon smelling living room. Unless of course he was in Pam's cinnamon smelling living room with a giggling baby on his chest. Savannah shrieked impatiently, kicking her little legs when Jim didn't do it again for a fourth time.

"I'm sorry Savannah," he laughed at the little attitude she was already displaying. "But I have reeeally got to go to the bathroom." He had tried holding out as long as he could. Pam was still sleeping. But he was afraid if he held it any longer he'd have more to worry about then a cranky baby. He compromised and tossed her up into the air as he got up. She smiled but seemed unimpressed by his efforts.

"Tough costumer!" Jim laughed but quickly got the happy giggle-shrieks back as he held her over his head, rubbing his nose into her chubby baby belly and making fake menacing growling sounds on the way to Pam's bedroom. He opened the door with one hand, adjusting Savannah on his hip with the other. The room was dark and smelled like mentholatum. The only sign that there was actually life in there was the muffled sounds of Pam's labored breathing against her pillow. Jim slowly glided over to the side of the bed, kneeling down on it with Savannah. Pam had taken the bed frame off a few weeks after Savannah's arrival, paranoid the little girl would somehow figure out how to get stuck under there. It was low to the ground now, which made for easy access to a crawling baby.

"Pam…," Jim whispered softly, shaking her shoulder. She barely stirred. He felt her forehead and frowned a little to find it still warm. "Pam." He tried again. This time he got her to roll over and squint her eyes open at him.

"Jim?" she said her voice groggy and disorientated.

"I'm sorry," he apologized softly. "Will you watch Savannah for a minute while I go to the bathroom?"

"Oh Jim…I'm sorry," Pam closed her eyes and rested her hand on her crinkling forehead. "I just slept all day and left you alone."

"It's okay Pam. You don't have to worry. You need to focus on getting better," he set Savannah at her side. "I'll be right back." Jim went to the master bathroom and closed the door, an action Savannah didn't exactly agree with. The door closing and the crying happened almost simultaneously. Pam was still struggling to wake up as Savannah slipped off the bed, going slow as she was beginning to quickly master the movement. She crawled hurriedly in the direction Jim had gone, her little face scrunched up in frustration as she continued to wail hopelessly.

"Savannah…," Pam caught her leg and wrestled her over to her. "What's the matter huh? He'll be back you know." Savannah stopped crying as Pam started to talk to her softly. "It's alright little girl." She tapped her nose lightly and rested Savannah's back up against her legs. It hurt to think that at only 8 months old she already had a fear of abandonment. Jim came out of the bathroom stretching his arms over his head, a little bit of belly showing in his efforts.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, slinking down to Pam's side and placing his hand on her head again.

"Tired," Pam answered, closing her eyes and groaning. Savannah waved her arms around excitedly at Jim, making a very stunt-double type crash into his lap.

"Hi baaaaby," he crooned making her laugh.

"She loves you," Pam said softly, resting her head against Jim's shoulder, keeping her eyes on her little niece who crawled off of Jim to a few toys that were at the edge of the bed, apparently okay after being reassured Jim was back.

"Yeah…," Jim said gently, resting his head on hers. "But she loves you too."

"Not as much as she loves you."

"Not true."

Pam whined a little, burying her face into her hands.

"I slept all day long. How come I'm so tired?"

"Savannah! Don't put that in your mouth kid!" Jim crawled over to Savannah and confiscated a loose battery that had probably fallen out of the back of the TV controllers. He lifted her up and brought her back over to where Pam was sitting. She groaned.

"Such…an…awful…aunt," she moaned.

"You…are…not…an…awful….aunt," Jim insisted, poking her side to emphasize his words. Pam looked up at him exasperated.

"I leave batteries around little girls can choke on."

"With all things considered Pam it could have very well and probably was me," he rested his hands at Savannah's sides as she stared up at him, her pink polo shirt a mess of formula and drool and only god knew what else. "How bout we eat and you can go back to bed?"

"Mmmm…sounds good to me," Pam let her heavy head fall back on Jim's shoulder.

"Do you want to help me make dinner little girl?" Jim asked Savannah. She looked up at him for a second before rubbing her face into his shirt which indicated sleep time was coming waaay sooner then expected. Jim stood up with her and held his hand down to Pam. She took it and let her wobbly legs get used to standing. The kitchen was cold and Jim started to miss the warmth of the cozy little living room that was just right next door. He put Savannah down in her high chair and went to the freezer in search of something to make.

"Oh my god. Halloween's tomorrow," Pam happened to glance at the unread paper and groaned as she saw the full page of coupons for Halloween costumes.

"Awww…someone's first!" Jim gave Savannah a vanilla wafer to suck on.

"I don't have anything to dress her up in," Pam could feel her headache returning.

"And you think that's honestly an issue?" Jim sat down next to Pam at the kitchen table after sliding some chicken alfredo into the oven to cook. He placed an arm around her shoulder and used his free hand to slide the paper over to them. "Uncle Jim Jim has it all under control." Pam wrinkled her nose a little.

"Uncle Jim Jim?"

He laughed.

"Something wrong with that Aunt Pamma-Jamma?"

"You don't look like an Uncle Jim Jim."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he grinned. "My name is Jim after all."

"Da da da ad da," Savannah babbled from her high chair, staring at them with a mush of soggy cookie in her hand. They knew it was all just baby babble. But a lot of it sounded like 'da da'.

And a lot of it seemed directed at Jim.

* * *

After dinner that night Jim had put both Savannah and Pam to bed. The next day was spent decorating the house with cheap Halloween decorations from Walgreen's. He had also bought Savannah a Halloween costume but refused to show Pam until nightfall.

"Come oooon Uncle Jim Jim!" Pam laughed impatiently from the sofa. She was bundled up in sweat pants and an oversized blue sweatshirt that read 'Pennsylvania' on the front. Her messy unwashed hair was swept off her neck in a low bun and her nose was red and puffy from constant blowing, her blue eyes milky with sickness induced exhaustion. And Jim thought she had never looked more beautiful.

"Patience Auntie, patience," Jim scolded, grinning. He stood in the doorway adjoining the kitchen and the living room, holding Savannah just out of sight.

"I want to seeeeee!"

"Okay okay. I now present to you…our very own Savannah Beesly!" Jim brought Savannah into view and laughed at the immediate 'aww's that escaped Pam's mouth.

"My baby!" Pam got off of the sofa and stole Savannah out of Jim's arms. The baby was dressed in a fluffy yellow duck costume, complete with web footed footsies and an orange bill and eyes on the hood.

"What do you think?" Jim grinned, obviously proud of himself. Savannah rested her head under Pam's chin and let out a baby sigh which only made Pam laugh harder then she already was.

"Oh goodness Jim," she wiped at her eyes and gave Savannah a kiss on the tip of her nose. "This is too cute." The doorbell rang and Savannah lifted her head.

"Candy time!" Jim grinned and grabbed a full bowl of cheap candy he had picked up too. He opened the door with Pam holding Savannah at his side.

"TRICK-OR-TREAT!" the screams of a group of already over stimulated kids rang from the step.

"Oh wow…superman and batman!" Pam smiled, sniffling her runny nose.

"A duck!" one of the little boys cried. "Mom! Mom! She has a duck!" Savannah started making low little sounds and scrunched her face up a little, seeming to concentrate very hard on the little strangers at the door. Jim gave all the kids generous handfuls of candy and waited as more waves of little costumed trick-or-treaters came. The two of them stood outside for a good half hour, Pam getting the honor of holding the little star of the show.

"Are we ready to go in and have our little ducky to ourselves?" Jim asked, tickling a tired Savannah on one of her little webbed feet. She kicked her leg and whined tiredly.

"I think that's a good idea," Pam nuzzled Savannah on her hooded head and turned with Jim to go inside.

"Um…Pam? Ms. Beesly?" a timid, unfamiliar voice made them turn around. A man stood there, about mid twenties. He looked very familiar but Pam couldn't quite place him.

"Yes…this is she," Pam answered carefully, handing Savannah to Jim.

"Savannah," he said gratefully, reaching his hand out to the little girl. Jim stepped back and pulled Pam inside.

"Who are you?" he growled.

"I'm so sorry," the man apologized, taking a step back. "My name is Richard. Richard Cancellaire." Pam's eyes widened a little. She all of a sudden knew who he was.

"I'm Savannah's uncle."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Savannah's costume was a little too big. So as she crawled across the floor in the living room, the legs of the outfit trailed behind her. Jim and Pam sat on one sofa, right across from Richard who sat on the loveseat, his hands entwined in front of him. He had just got done explaining to Jim and Pam how confused and hurt he was after the death of his brother and sister in law. It took him a while before he even began thinking about little Savannah. Finally he was able to get in touch with his father in law who pointed him in the direction of Pam.

"I'm so sorry there was so much confusion," Pam apologized gently. "I wish I would have thought about getting in contact with you."

"Oh it's not your fault. We only met that one time at Mike's house and that was long before Savannah was born," Richard said, resting his chin on his hands. Mike was his brother. Savannah's father. Even though this was Savannah's uncle and he had more of a relation to Savannah then he did, Jim was feeling very uncomfortable watching Richard watch Savannah. The little girl stopped crawling and sat on the floor between the two couches. She looked up at Richard and grinned, comfortable knowing Jim and Pam were right there. That was one very distinct thing about the little girl that reminded Pam of her sister. She loved everybody.

"Hey there little girl," Richard waved down at Savannah, opening and closing his fist. Savannah stared at him curiously for a second before giggling and rocking a little on her little leg she had sat on. "She's so beautiful." He bent down and lifted the little girl up onto his lap. He stared at her for a long time.

"She looks a lot like him," Pam said gently. Richard nodded sadly.

"Like Sallie too."

Savannah started tugging on the hood of her costume, whining before she started to cry.

"I'm sorry kid…I know I have been pretty scarce in your life," Richard said.

"Aw she's just had a long night," Jim said, standing up. "She's just tired."

"I'm really glad you're taking care of her you guys," Richard said, handing a fussing Savannah to Jim. "This is the best place for her right now."

"I really hope you'll come see her," Pam said, standing up as well. She felt terrible knowing he had spent time worrying about his niece while she had been able to see her every day.

"I will definitely be over often. I just live right down the road. Would you and Jim like to come have breakfast with me tomorrow?"

"That would be wonderful," Pam walked Richard to the door as Jim took Savannah into the kitchen.

"Great. How's 10 for you?"

"That's fine. I can't tell you how sorry I am about everything."

"Don't even worry about it," Richard waved his hand dismissively and smiled. "Just promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"Don't ever let Savannah forget what wonderful people her parents were."

* * *

"I'm just not sure about him is all Pam," Jim leaned over the tub and started to scrub Savannah's face gently, the little girl screaming as loud as her tiny lungs would allow.

"What's there not to be sure about Jim?" Pam asked leaning up against the sink and crossing her arms. She grabbed a tissue from the counter and blew her nose for what felt like the thousandth time in the last couple days.

"I don't know," Jim shrugged, turning his neck to look at Pam over his shoulder. "Just a feeling I guess."

"Well he's her uncle Jim. It's not like I'm going to keep her away from him."

"And I'm not asking you to. God kid, is it honestly that bad?" Jim turned back on Savannah who was still shrieking, her little cheeks red and tiny nose running.

"Don't get mad at her!" Pam snapped. "She didn't do anything."

"I wasn't getting mad at _her_," Jim snapped back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pam cried, hearing her voice grow shrill. She stepped towards Jim. "Why don't you go make her a bottle? I can finish up." Jim stared at her for a second, standing up. Pam knelt down where he had been.

"Shhh…shhh it's okay Littles," Pam soothed Savannah softly, rubbing her back and giving the baby her free hand to grab on to.

"I don't want to go to breakfast tomorrow," Jim said stubbornly. He wasn't quite sure why he was so angry or why he was still running his mouth. He could tell he was making Pam upset and it was hurting him but he couldn't _stop_. He heard her sigh.

"I'll take Savannah by myself then," Pam refused to look at him, her face burning with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. She hadn't seen this side of the man she loved before. She lifted Savannah out of the tub and wrapped her up in a towel, pushing past Jim to the bedroom. He watched her. She set Savannah, who was struggling to stay awake, on the bed. Pam looked back, feeling Jim's gaze on the back of her neck.

"Are you going to make a bottle?"

Jim went over to the door without another word.

"Jim?"

He stopped to look at her. Pam's face was clouded with confusion. Savannah started crying again, her face beet red as she wailed unhappily.

"Are we fighting?"

"I guess we are."

He let the door close behind him.

* * *

After putting Savannah into her pajamas, Pam crawled into bed and rested the fussing baby on her chest.

"Shhh…come on baby girl…time to go sleepy sleeps now," she whispered gently, stroking her damp curls. Savannah rubbed her face into Pam's shirt before seeming to find a comfortable position and promptly falling to sleep. Pam sniffled, beginning to feel weak and tired again, her chest began to ache from the cold. Jim sat at the table in the kitchen, burying his face into his hands. He wanted to go apologize but figured it could wait until morning. He peeked back into Pam's bedroom to see her fast asleep with a content Savannah on her chest.

He wondered how he could get mad at something so beautiful.

* * *

After a restless night on the sofa, Jim awoke to the tugs of little hands on his face. When he squinted open his eyes Savannah was sitting on his chest, batting his face excitedly.

"Savannah…," Jim grinned. She squealed excitedly, flashing him a big baby smile. This was definitely the way to wake up in the morning.

"Morning," Pam poked her head in from the kitchen. Jim felt his stomach drop a little, the events of last night hitting him like a ton of bricks.

"Morning," he answered, groggy. He sat up and laid Savannah on his legs. Very unlike her she just lay quietly and watched Jim talk to Pam as she came into the living room.

"I'm sorry about last night."

Both of them paused. They had both just said the same thing at the same time and Pam burst into giggles.

"Oh god," she rested her face in her hands and sighed, plopping down on the couch next to Jim.

"What's a matter aunt Paaaaam?" Jim asked gently, nuzzling the side of her head. Pam groaned a little.

"What am I supposed to do when you go back to work on Monday?" It scared her that she was lost without his guidance.

"You'll be fine," Jim said gently, resting his hand on her leg. "You're a very good Aunt. Savannah loves you." Pam rested her head on Jim's. Savannah moved her head a little, watching Pam. She smiled.

"Silly girl!"

Savannah laughed, kicking her feet against Jim.

"Did you reschedule her appointment?"

Jim nodded.

"For tomorrow."

"I think I want to see someone too."

Jim nodded as Savannah finally figured she was bored and sat up, gripping a handful of Jim's shirt to steady herself.

"Did you still want to stay home?" Pam asked, taking Savannah from his arms and standing up. Savannah waved her little arms around, making coos and baby noises, just happy to be Savannah. Jim looked up and gave her a sleepy sort of smile.

"I think I'll stay here and keep down the fort. Maybe tidy up a little. You guys have fun though okay?"

"Okay," Pam leaned over and kissed Jim gently before taking Savannah into the bedroom to get her ready. She pulled on a long sleeved, green onesie over Savannah's head with two baby giraffes on the front that read 'friends' underneath in small, wiggly writing. Tiny green baby sweats came next, then itty bitty green striped socks (of course pausing to kiss irresistibly cute baby feet) and a pair of tiny baby shoes following the jungle theme with small pink elephants printed on the side, for good measure.

"Savannah," Pam said, standing back and putting her hands on her hips. Savannah cooed up at her, smiling and wiggling her tiny little body happily. "You are too good to be true you little monster." She lifted the baby into her arms, snuggling into her neck as she brought her back out into the living room.

"Very nice," Jim nodded his head in approval and tossed Pam a wad of material. "Don't forget coats."

"Bye bye Uncle Jim," Pam lifted Savannah's arm and waved it a little.

"Bye sweetie peanut," Jim opened and closed his fist in Savannah's direction. Then Savannah opened and closed her fist towards herself, a smile creeping its way across her face. Pam gasped a little and giggled.

"You waved! Did you see that?" she asked Jim excitedly. Jim laughed.

"I saw! Granted she was technically waving to _herself_…,"

"JIM!"

He laughed and winked at Savannah.

"Nice work kid."

* * *

As he lifted a spoiled bottle that was hidden behind the headboard in Pam's room, Jim wrinkled his nose and wondered how in the world the house managed to get so dirty in just a couple of days. In a lot of ways Jim and Pam were like teenage parents. They were learning as they went along and some things they did would make experienced parents cringe. Such as forgetting a bottle in the bedroom only to discover it well over a week later looking quite like some sort of Jr. High science experiment.

Jim took the yellow looking liquid into the kitchen and slowly unscrewed the lid. He paused for a minute, the way you would pause before ripping a bandage off your arm and stared intently at the plastic. He mentally counted down from three then pulled the lid off and poured it into the sink. It came out in chunks of thick mess and he had the sudden urge to yelp as he tossed the now empty bottle as far into the sink as he could and turned the faucet on to the hottest water possible. He wiped his hands on a dishtowel then went to tackle the high chair.

The plastic tray was caked with food from the night before, what used to be sweet potatoes and peas. As he wiped off the crusty surface he let his mind wander to little Savannah. It was funny how when he was with her he was happy to get a break after a while but once that break came he spent the entire time thinking about _her_. And Pam. And what cute and memorable moments he was missing out on by staying at home. He wasn't sure why he was feeling so…._jealous _of Savannah's uncle. Maybe it was simply because…he wasn't any relation to her. Sure…Pam had said 'uncle' Jim but it didn't really mean anything. Richard was her real uncle, Pam her real aunt. Then there…well…there was Jim. Just Jim. He was beginning to adore this little girl and was afraid about what _not_ being her uncle could mean. He had just finished making the high chair immaculate when he heard a key in the door and slid into the living room just as Pam came into the house.

"Hi guys," Jim grinned, hoping he didn't look to eager as he took Savannah from Pam and tossed her into the air before showering her with kisses. Savannah squealed with laughter, kicking her legs in ecstasy as Jim snuffled into her ear and held her tight.

"Hi there," Pam laughed stealing Savannah back. The tiny girl started screaming hysterically, tears coming quick. "Okay…okay I was just kidding anyway." Pam handed Savannah back to Jim and tossed her coat into the closet. Jim sighed, Savannah hiding her face into his neck and cooing softly.

"She loves you Pam." He didn't want her to forget. "And I do too." Pam gave him a sad little smile.

"I know. And I love you too."

* * *

It wasn't until later that night Jim asked Pam about breakfast. He wasn't sure why he was holding off. Maybe it was because Pam hadn't brought it up first. Maybe it was because Pam hadn't brought it up at _all_. It was making him debate whether or not to even talk about it. Savannah sat in her high chair, being unusually quiet as Jim cut up pieces of chicken and Pam shredded some lettuce in the sink.

"So…how did breakfast go?" Jim asked tentatively, threading the knife through a chunk of the white meat lay out on the cutting board. Pam shrugged a little, running a leaf of lettuce under the faucet.

"It was fine."

"What did you guys talk about?"

"Savannah mostly," Pam answered. "I don't really know him that well to carry out a conversation about much else."

"I'm just wondering…if he cares so much about Savannah then why did he wait so long to look for her." Jim said, half just talking out loud. Pam leaned her head back a little and sighed.

"Please Jim…we got into this last night."

Savannah wrinkled her forehead a little, her tiny face contorting into something that translated clearly into disapproval.

"Just help me understand Pam…,"

"Look! It's not like I left her with him!" Pam turned to look at Jim, abandoning her wet lettuce. "He just has a simple request and that's to see her every once and a while. And he has the perfect right! Considering he's her _uncle_ and all."

"Why do you say it like that?" Jim unintentionally snapped. His insecurities began rising to the surface. "It's not like he honestly cares Pam! Not if he shows up 3 months later!"

Savannah started to make little grunting sounds from her high chair and banged her arms against the tray. Almost as if to stop the brewing fight before it started.

"I really don't know what's gotten into you Jim," Pam crossed the kitchen and lifted Savannah out of her high chair. She took the car keys off a hook that was near the sink.

"Where are you going?" Jim asked, Pam walking with hastened steps towards the hall closet. She pulled out her coat and zipped Savannah up into hers, busying herself with the Velcro straps on the babies pink elephant shoes. She pretended not to notice Jim's voice as he repeated himself. "Where are you going?" Savannah stayed quiet, Pam hoisting her back into her arms, putting her hand on the front door.

"What about dinner?" Jim's voice came out whinier then he wanted.

"Forget dinner," Pam said simply, her neck warm with anger and fever. She opened the door and a wave of cool air hit them, fresh flakes of snow hitting the doorstep. Savannah buried her face into Pam's chest.

"Where are you going Pam?" Jim pleaded, following her out to the car. Pam opened the backseat and fastened Savannah into her car seat. The tiny girl looked up at Pam then craned her neck to stare at Jim, her tiny cheeks pinking with cold and her beautiful blue eyes clouding with confusion. Once the door closed, Jim grabbed Pam's arm before she could walk around to the driver's seat.

"Let go Jim," Pam twisted her wrist around gently, trying to get free.

"You're delirious Pam. Your sick and you need to come back inside," his voice was firm and he refused to back down. Afraid of what could happen if he let her go.

Pam's eyes burned into Jim. Jim felt a lump rest in his throat. It was the first time he noticed the true agony that lay there. Never had he seen those blue eyes full of such uncertainty and pain. Something was happening to his Pam that he didn't understand. He pulled her into his chest and she wept in exhaustion.

"I don't know what's happening," Pam sobbed into his shirt. "Help me Jim. Please help me."

"I will Pam. I'm going to help you," Jim rested his hand on the back of her neck and held her to him. His eyes locked with Savannah's. He wanted to burst into tears at the sight of that gorgeous little girl. Her little hand opened and shut experimentally. Something she knew had provoked a happy reaction before. The only way she knew how to make things better.

She was waving bye.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The doctors' office was cold and smelled strongly of disinfectant and something similar to Windex. Savannah clung to Pam tightly as they sat in the waiting room filling out some paperwork. The pediatric office was right across from the main hospital. A little boy of about 3 was running around, disrupting everyone in the small room, obviously trying to test his father who kept picking him up and bringing him back to where he was sitting. Savannah watched him curiously, her little brow furrowed.

"Look at the duckies Savannah," Jim said, pointing to the mural on the wall behind them. A momma duck stood on the bank of a small pond, four fluffy yellow ducklings trailing behind her all in a row.

"Adah! Ah da da da," Savannah wiggled around in Pam's lap. She was dressed in a blue and pink striped shirt with dark blue baby jeans, a butterfly imprinted on the leg. She looked adorable but Pam was worried about her being cold in the clammy room.

"They want to keep away the germs," Jim smiled gently, squeezing Pam's leg as if having read her mind. She smiled back, sniffling a little. It wasn't like she could tell. It was going on day 3 of her persistent fever and she was beginning to feel that she'd never get the flush out of her face. As soon as their appointment with Savannah's pediatrician was done it was over to the main hospital for a visit with Pam's doctor.

"Michael Flarety," one of the nurses came out of the door that led to the back where the examination rooms were.

"Yes…here," the exasperated father of the little trouble maker from earlier lifted the boy into his arms and went through the door with the assistant. Pam moaned with the increasing pressure on her head, handing Savannah to Jim. She closed her eyes for a minute, her stomach churning with nervous knots.

"This is too stressful Jim." She sat forward a bit rubbing her temples as she rested her elbows on her legs.

"I know Pam," Jim rubbed her back. "But it'll be over soon." Savannah was getting very antsy, no longer content with just sitting around. She wiggled impatiently in Jim's lap waving her arms and putting up a fuss.

"Hey!" Jim raised his voice a bit to get her attention and stood her up on his legs. "What's wrong huh? What's all the fuss about?" Savannah squealed in an unsettled sort of way and stomped her tiny feet up and down on Jim's legs. Pam snorted and soon both her and Jim were beside themselves with laughter. They got odd looks from the other parents in the waiting room but neither one of them noticed. It felt good to let go of some of the tension.

"You have such an attitude little girl!" Pam smiled and wiped the corners of her eyes, leaning over and patting Savannah's belly gently. Savannah had sat down on Jim's lap and was looking up at the two like they were crazy.

"Savannah. Savannah Cancellaire," a new nurse had come out of the door and was calling their name. Pam took a deep breath and stood up with Jim. He took her hand and together they entered through the doors.

* * *

After a few more minutes of waiting a nurse came into the exam room they had been assigned and took the paper work from Pam.

"Is she allergic to any medications?" she asked Pam, scribbling some things down on a manila folder she had.

"No. None that we know of," Pam could have sworn it was colder in the exam room but Jim and Savannah seemed fine. They had even taken off Savannah's clothes so she was only in her diaper.

"Okay," the nurse looked down and smiled at Savannah. "We're just going to weigh her then the doctor will be in to see you."

"Sounds good," Jim stood up with Savannah. She looked so small against his chest, her head rested on his shoulder. Nap time was definitely soon.

"The scales are just right out here," the nurse led Jim and Pam into the hallway. "Awww…here little one." Jim handed Savannah over to the nurse who set her down on one of the two scales out in the hall. The other one was occupied by a nurse with another young baby, about the same size as Savannah. The little boy screeched hysterically even though his nurse was barely touching him.

"It's okay Sebastiaaaaaan," his mother tried comforting him but his wails drowned her out. Pam clenched a little, waiting for the tiny screams to flood out of Savannah's mouth and join those of the little boy. But as their nurse set her down, Savannah merely kept concentrated on the wailing baby next to her. The nurse next to them ended up handing Sebastian back to his mother, the tiny boy hanging on for dear life.

"That happen a lot?" Jim laughed a little, keeping his hand rested on the small of Pam's back. Pam clutched her frozen hands together, keeping them close to her chest.

"More often then what we would like unfortunately," their nurse smiled and went back to Savannah's folder. "15 pounds, 8 ounces. She's exactly where she should be." She lifted Savannah and placed her back into Jim's arms.

"You hear that kid? We must be doing something right," he grinned, kissing her on the head. Pam smiled as the nurse took them back to the exam room.

"We're kinda new at this."

"Well you seem to be doing a fine job," the nurse grinned as Savannah lay her head back down against Jim, yawning big. "That is one content little girl. The doctor should be in to see you soon."

"Thank you," Jim smiled.

"Don't give your Mommy and Daddy any trouble," the nurse patted Savannah on the head before leaving, closing the door behind her. Once they were alone Jim felt himself blushing. Pam smirked, playing with a tuft of hair stuck behind his ear.

"You blushing Halpart?" she asked, cocking her eyebrow playfully.

"Nope…not me," Jim turned his head to look at Pam, nuzzling her gently before placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"You're going to get sick," she whispered, his face still inches from hers. He leaned in again and smiled.

"It'll be worth it."

* * *

The doctor came in a few minutes later and Savannah continued to act astonishingly well. She let him shine lights into her ears and eyes and even let him put her shirt back on when he was done with his examination. His name was Dr. Bronze, a young doctor around mid twenties who was fresh out of medical school. He handled Savannah gently and was very sure and careful with his movements. He told them they would be able to start her on stage 2 baby foods.

"You're raising a very healthy baby girl," Dr. Bronze smiled, standing Savannah up on the blue examination table. She cooed happily up at him, her bright eyes shining. "Very friendly."

"Yes…she is very friendly," Pam agreed, smiling. She coughed a little. It came out more throaty and rough then usual. Jim patted her back gently.

"How long have you had that cough Ms. Beesly?" Dr. Bronze asked, concerned.

"Oh…I don't know not long. We're going to go see my doctor after were done here," she smiled gratefully and sniffled a bit.

"Well I'll just finish up and you guys can be on your way," he smiled and set Savannah into Pam's lap. Savannah turned her head to look up at her, grinning. Jim groaned a little as Dr. Bronze brought out a needle. Time for the shots. Jim rested his head against Pam's shoulder and put his arms around her and Savannah. Dr. Bronze swabbed Savannah's arm with an alcohol patch and injected the first shot. It went quick and came as a complete surprise to Savannah whose face scrunched up as she began to cry.

"Its okay bunny," Pam comforted. "You're such a brave girl." The second shot was injected into the top of her leg and Savannah started to squirm and wail, catching on now.

"Just one more," Dr. Bronze promised, disposing the first two needles before getting a third and injecting it a few inches below the second one. They thanked Dr. Bronze for his help and went back out to the front office to schedule their next appointment. Savannah cried and cried hanging on to Pam.

"I'm sorry Savannah…it's all over now," she buried her face into her curls and closed her eyes. It killed her every time she cried. She calmed down after a while and promptly fell asleep; her head nestled on Pam's shoulder.

"She did so well," Jim smiled, holding Pam's waist as they left the office and went back out into the cold November air.

"I know…I'm so proud of her," Pam kissed the sleeping baby on her forehead. Jim smiled, leaning over to kiss Savannah as well.

"Now…let's see if we can't get Aunt Pam fixed and squared away."

* * *

"Arrival time at the pediatric hospital…11:30 AM. Departure from the pediatric hospital…1:00 PM. Arrival at the main hospital...roughly…1:09 PM. Wait time out in the sitting room…6 hours! 6 hours! Who waits in the waiting room for 6 hours?!"

"Jim please," Pam pleaded, growing increasingly dizzy as she grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to sit beside her. "It's not his fault."

"I can't tell you again how sorry I am. But it's a month into flu season and we're already taking more then we can handle." Dr. Waddell looked like he was about ready to fall over from exhaustion. He was older then Dr. Bronze had been, about mid forties. He had a bad comb over but his green eyes were full of kindness. "And unfortunately if you don't have an appointment beforehand, things can get a little crazy." He smiled apologetically. Jim ran his hand through his hair and groaned a little.

"I'm sorry. It's just that she's been feeling crummy for a while now and it hasn't been easy keeping this one entertained for so long." Jim nodded down at Savannah. The tiny girl was standing on the floor, her hands positioned on either side of Jim's legs for balance. A huge grin filled her face when Jim looked down at her and she continued to wiggle around with crazy energy every now and then squealing just because it got a reaction out of Jim and Pam.

"I can imagine," he smiled knowingly. "I have 3 little ones at home."

"Holy cow," Pam had to rub her head just thinking about it. "We're pretty busy with just our one."

Dr. Waddell went on to take Pam's temperature which was still elevated at 102.9. She started getting the shivers and her ears felt like they were on fire. He wrote her out a prescription and told Jim if her temperature hadn't gone down by tomorrow night to bring her back in.

"Take care now. And…hey…limit baby time," he smiled.

"I will," Pam took Jim's hand, wanting more then ever just to get home and go to sleep.

* * *

The cool surface of her pillow had never felt so good against Pam's head. She moaned, every muscle in her body aching, her head pounding painfully.

"You see your Auntie Pam?" Jim smiled Savannah's head just able to peak over the side of the tub. They were in the master bathroom, the door open so Pam could watch as Jim gave Savannah her bath. Savannah babbled in an excited yammer, Jim loading her shoulders and head up with bubbles. Pam found herself giggling which led into a nasty coughing fit.

"Jiiiim."

"Whaaaat bunny?" Jim looked over his shoulder at Pam, giving her a wayward sort of smile.

"Hurry."

Feeling the worst she had ever felt in a long time all Pam wanted was to feel Jim against her, his gentle hands that tossed Savannah up in the air so carefully kneading into the small of her back. She just wanted _him_.

"We're going as fast as we can Auntie!" Jim called back, lifting Savannah out of the tub in her Wizard of Oz bath towel. He gently laid her down on the side of the bed Pam wasn't occupying and bundled her up into her pink footsie jammies.

"You did so good today Savannah," Pam whispered, stroking the little girls hair.

"I'll be right back with a ba-ba," Jim ducked out of the room. Savannah rolled over to look at Pam. Her blue eyes looked so peaceful, so full of innocence and _love_.

"I love you little girl," Pam cooed softly. "I love you." Savannah lay still, watching Pam contentedly. Pam sang to her gently and soon Jim was back with the bed time bottle.

"I goooooooot yooooou," Jim crooned in a low voice, picking Savannah up into his arms and planting a wet kiss to her cheek. A happy baby giggle escaped her mouth and when Jim lay down next to Pam and adjusted Savannah on his chest she immediately nuzzled underneath his chin. Pam attached herself to Jim's arm and whimpered softly.

"Awww…you get cuddles next, I promise sicka-poo." Jim rubbed his nose against Pam's, Savannah's eyes already closed as she worked on her bottle.

"You'll take care of me?" Pam asked playfully. Her voice was weak and eyes drooped, milky with exhaustion.

"Of course I will," Jim eased the bottle out of Savannah's mouth and set it down on the nightstand. They were quiet for a long time, just listening to Savannah's steady breathing. Jim pat her back gently.

"This kid…I'll tell ya," he laughed a little, using his other hand to rub his eye. "She's so beautiful."

"She is," Pam agreed softly. Jim got up and placed her into her crib. Then he crawled under the covers with Pam, collecting her into his arms. Pam laid her head on Jim's chest and exhaled slowly. It was here she felt the safest. Jim nuzzled her and before he even knew it she was sound asleep in his arms.

"Goodnight Pam," he whispered kissing her long and slow and gentle and perfect on the lips. He waited a couple of seconds and then whispered

"Goodnight little dreamer."


	8. Chapter 8

Hi everyone,

I cannot apologize enough for having abandoned poor 'Aunt Pam'. It's the holiday season! What's wrong with me:-) The truth is I have been sick for a while and just really wasn't in the mood to write for a little bout of time. But I can assure you that little Savannah and I are back :) Thank you so much to all of you who have taken such an interest in this story. I should be back to updating on a regular basis.

Happy Holidays!

Dru

Chapter 8

The morning light was purple and pink in color as it came flooding into the living room the next morning. Soon the walls were splashed with a tangy orange color as the sun began to break the horizon. Jim was lying on the couch feeling very content with his surroundings. Savannah was bouncing and giggling on his chest.

"Sooooo early," Jim groaned a little, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes, keeping his other hand stationed on Savannah's back to keep her steady. Savannah lurched forward to bounce again but this time she stopped herself and started to cry.

"Oh baby girl," Jim sighed and rubbed her legs. "Your sore little one." Two tiny band-aids were placed on her chubby leg where Dr. Bronze had given her the shots yesterday. One was bright orange and had little big birds on it and the other was dark blue and had Clifford on it. The one on her arm was a neon green color. She had woken up about 5:30, cranky and in pain. Pam had barely been able to muster up enough strength to lift her head but Jim didn't mind getting up with her. Savannah stared at Jim, her bottom lip stuck out a little in a pout. Jim sat up and cradled her, the room now fully alight with the morning sun.

He found the remote on the coffee table and flipped through a few channels.

The news. Weather was going to be cold again. The lows…well…_very_ low.

ESPN. The Raiders had lost again. Jim wasn't really the 'football' kinda guy. Tennis and bowling were more in his area.

A few infomercials. Who would really own a plastic fish that sang Christmas songs? Oh yeah that's right. Dwight.

"There's nothing on kid," Jim lay back down and laid Savannah on top of him, rubbing her back until she fell asleep. After a while he began to doze as well but was quickly awoken again as the house phone started ringing. Savannah jolted awake, her cheek already reddening where it had been up against Jim's chest. She stared to cry again clenching and unclenching the collar of Jim's shirt as if to further voice her frustrations. Who was calling this early? Jim swung his legs over the couch and stood up, rocking Savannah bit.

"Its okay bunny," he whispered, holding her close. He hurried to lift the phone of the wall in the kitchen afraid it would wake up Pam.

"Hello?"

"Jim?"

"This is he..," Jim already recognized the voice as Richard's. Savannah whimpered on his shoulder reaching for the mouthpiece of the phone. She had something against phones. Almost as if it aggravated her that _it_ was getting the attention and not her. Jim swayed a little trying to calm her down.

"Is that Savannah?" Richard asked, perking up.

"Yes…yes it is," Jim fought back the urge to add anything else. Savannah looked up at him with big blue pleading eyes. She was sore and sleepy. And he was standing here on the phone with someone he didn't particularly care for, for no particular reason other then he waited so long to find his niece.

"Is she alright?"

"She's fine," Jim answered, almost a little too quickly. "Can I do something for you Mr. Cancellaire? I would really like to get her back to sleep."

"Pam said I could bring my son over today to visit his cousin," he answered. Jim stopped a groan on the way up his throat.

"I'm not sure if today would be good," Jim said slowly. "Pam's really not feeling well."

"Oh…I'm sorry to hear that. It's just that Jordan really wants to see her. He's very busy with sports and things and this is one of our free days."

Jim could feel his face flush a little with a surprising surge of anger. He wasn't sure why either. Maybe it was because he was still on the phone and Savannah was still whining in an attempt to get him to pay attention to her.

"I can understand Mr. Cancellaire. I'm sorry. I just don't want her to have to deal with visitors today," he answered shortly. "It's really early."

"Yes…I'm sorry about that. I've been at work for a few hours already so I didn't realize it was as early as it was," Richard laughed apologetically. Savannah's cries were muffled as she rubbed her face into Jim's shirt. "I hope I didn't wake up the baby." Jim clenched his teeth.

"I'll have Pam call you later."

"Thank you."

"Bye."

"Hey Jim?"

Jim paused.

"Yes?"

"Tell Savannah her uncle loves her."

When the conversation ended Jim felt a little guilty. Had he been too overprotective? He hadn't meant to. Savannah mustered up the saddest sounding little cry she could and let it all out. Jim kissed the bridge of her nose and held her over his head.

"Ohhhh…I'm sorry baaaaby."

She kicked her legs but whimpered at the pain. Once Jim cuddled her back to his chest she calmed down and he started making a bottle. As he was walking with her back to the bedroom he remembered the last thing Richard had said. _Tell her, her uncle loves her_. He nuzzled into her curls.

"I love you Savannah."

* * *

Jim had crawled back into bed with Pam. After feeding Savannah her bottle (which she actually finished) and getting her back to sleep he re-cuddled with Pam and fell back to sleep himself. It wasn't until almost noon when he peeked open his eyes. They had barely moved at all. His arms were still locked around Pam and she was still sound asleep against him. He could feel her steady breath against his neck.

"Pam…," he croaked, his voice coming out rough and groggy. "Pam." He nudged her gently with his nose. Pam groaned a little, her forehead scrunching before she even opened her eyes. Her hands searched a little until they found Jim's neck.

"Jiiiim…I hurt," she whimpered softly, eyes still closed. He really wished there was more he could do for her. She was relying on him and he felt like he was failing. Savannah started to cry from her crib. Jim rubbed Pam's back and sighed a little. This was hard. Choosing who to comfort.

"Hang on Littles. Let me get your auntie her medicine," Jim slid out of bed and grabbed Pam's pills off of the counter. She sat up and he put two of the jelly bean sized capsules into her hand. He handed her a small cup of tap water from the bathroom sink then went and lifted Savannah out of her crib. Pam swallowed her pills and closed her eyes as they fought their way down her throat. Once they were down she looked back up at Jim and managed to grin when she saw Savannah smiling at her.

"Oh baby," she moaned. "I love you."

Savannah waved her arms and made happy sounds in Pam's direction. She quieted a little as the sore returned and began to fuss.

"Maybe I should give her some of that baby Tylenol," Jim thought out loud, swaying gently. Pam nodded and laid her head back down feeling the drowsing medicine take effect already. Even after her long sleep she could feel her eyelids grow heavy.

"Sounds good." Just as Jim was heading to the bathroom with Savannah the doorbell rang through the house. Pam groaned.

"Who could that be?" Jim questioned. But in the back of his mind he somehow knew. Savannah shrieked and giggled as Jim took her out into the living room and set her down in her playpen so he could answer the door. She protested loudly, screaming as Jim peeked out the window. There stood Richard and a boy who looked to be around 13. Jim groaned. He was at a loss of what to do. His hand was stuck on the door handle. Savannah let out another squeak and he knew he'd have to open the door.

"Hello Jim," Richard grinned when the front door opened. The boy next to him smiled politely. Jim was unsure of what to say.

"Uh…hi…Richard…there must have been some misunderstanding. Remember I said Pam was sick today?"

"Oh yes…that's why I brought this," Richard brought out a blue Tupperware from behind his back. "Soup for Pam." He held it out to him. Savannah stared intensely at Richard and his son and began throwing another little fit. "May we come in?"

"I…sure…sure you can come in," and Jim moved over a little to let them in.

"Wow is that her?" Richard's son asked, going over to the playpen. Savannah wobbled a little before letting go of her playpen and falling to a sit.

"Yep…that's her Jord," Richard sounded proud as he put his arm around his sons shoulder. "Hey there beautiful." Savannah stared up at them curiously but Jim was out of sight and soon she started wailing again.

"A dah dah dah daaaaaa!" she shrieked as tears stained her tiny chubby cheeks.

"Can I pick her up?" Jordan asked over Savannah's fuss. Jim lifted the tiny girl up and rocked her for a couple of seconds. He was angry. Maybe it wasn't just because Richard had popped in totally unannounced. Maybe more at himself for not being more firm and just saying no.

"Listen you guys. I am really sorry but you're going to have to leave. We can schedule a visit some other day but Pam is sick and Savannah's pretty sore from her shots yesterday and I just…can't be dealing with this right now." Jim felt like he had more power when Savannah was in his arms. Richard stared at him for a long time before nodding slowly.

"Alright…okay. You'll be hearing from us," he put on a smile and led his son out of the front door. "Tell Pam I hope she feels better."

"I will. Goodbye now." Once the door was closed Jim leaned his head back against it and sighed, feeling awful. Why was it so unnecessarily hard? It was on Richard. He was the one that came when he said not to. Savannah stared up at him with big blue eyes and cooed happy and gentle.

She made it all worth it.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey everyone. A long-ish chapter for you all. I may have another chapter up before Christmas but I won't promise anything just in case :)

Happy Holidays!

Dru

* * *

Chapter 9

Before they had really realized it, a month had gone by and December had snuck up on Pam and Jim. It had taken a good 2 weeks to get Pam back to full health and they had spent a quiet Thanksgiving at home with Savannah. She was growing. In only a month she had mastered standing without any assistance. The little girl was still hesitant on taking that first step even with all the gentle coaxing that came her way. They were still zero on the tooth count but they could see two at the top poking out of the gums. The three had just come home from buying a Christmas tree. It sat up in the corner of the living room. The green pine looked weird and very un-Christmas like all bundled up in the sheet of plastic the nursery had wrapped it up in.

"It looks very un-Christmas like."

"I was thinking the same thing," Pam sighed. Her muscles ached from the cold. Flakes of snow fell outside and she caught their twinkle out of the corner of her eye. Getting it home had been a chore and Jim and Pam had no intention of decorating it right then. Or even giving it the dignity of taking it out of its plastic casing. Pam leaned back and snuggled into Jim's side, exhaling slowly through her chapped mouth. Jim let his arm fall around her shoulder and rested his hand on her waist. His head rested comfortably on top of hers.

"Shouldn't we be more in the Christmas spirit?" Pam asked worriedly. "I can't ruin this. I just can't. Not her first Christmas."

Savannah had been on the floor playing with some of her new Fisher Price toys Pam's grandfather had dropped off a few days earlier. He was heading to New York to be with family over the holidays. But at the change of tone in Pam's voice she paused in her play to look up at her and Jim. Her blue eyes seemed bluer in the cold, usually watering from the low temperatures.

"Bugaboo," Jim cooed down to her. "Whatcha doin' pretty girl?"

A grin broke across Savannah's face and she rocked a little. "Da dah da dah!" she chanted enthusiastically. She was a pro at saying da-da now, only uttering things that sounded like ma-ma when she was lost in her own little world playing with toys or being fussy. It was obvious now she knew what da-da and ba-ba meant. She was beginning to associate 'da-da' with Jim and neither him nor Pam were fighting it.

"Well get over here then," Pam giggled at the little girl as she started to crawl quickly over to them. Jim called it the 'lightning speed' crawl. Pam would definitely admit to splurging a little when it came to Savannah's December/Christmas-y attire. Every day she had something new to wear. Today they had been too lazy to dress her up like they normally did when they went out but her clothes were still cute nonetheless.

A cream colored long sleeved onesie with a baby reindeer on the front and matching brown sweat pants with blue snowflake socks and little reindeer shoes. Jim said if there was ever an opening in a profession that called for the two of them to dress up babies all day they'd have to jump all over it. As soon as she got within arms reach, Pam and Jim both lifted her into their little heap, showering her with kisses. Her loud and happy giggles soon warmed the living room and made Pam smile.

"You have your mommies giggle already bubble," Jim twirled a tiny strawberry blonde curl around his pinky. Pam quieted a little, leaning up against Jim's shoulder. She still couldn't help feeling that it was way too soon to assume that position. She never wanted Savannah to forget what a wonderful person her real mommy had been. How much she loved this tiny little girl. It had only been 3 months since the accident. Jim said mommy and she still used Auntie Pam. She didn't want to confuse Savannah but her gut wouldn't quite let her be mommy yet. Savannah stared up at Pam and squealed a little when she gave her a smile.

"You're a crazy little babe you know that?" Pam took Savannah from Jim's lap and cuddled her close. Savannah rubbed her face against Pam's shirt, the universal sign of sleep, and rested her head underneath her chin.

"Awww she's not going to last long," Jim whispered, patting Savannah's head as Pam repositioned her and rocked her gently.

"No," she smiled. "You're right." Savannah kicked her reindeer shoed foot a little, fighting sleep as usual. But when Pam nuzzled her face into the crook of her neck and breathed softly Savannah seemed to give up and in a matter of seconds was sound asleep against her chest. Jim put his arms around them and kissed Pam on the cheek.

"You shouldn't worry about ruining her Christmas," he whispered near her ear. Pleasant chills ran down Pam's spine, his nose cold still against her cheek. She turned to him and kissed his nose.

"Was I worrying?" she grinned and turned back to Savannah.

"How about you put her down while I search for the decorations?"

"No complaints from me," Pam grinned. "That garage is a mess."

Jim groaned a little.

"I know."

* * *

The long string of tangled lights acted as a great distraction to Tony, the cat that had adopted Pam and Jim. He was gray with white tufts on his ears and was a huge pain in the butt. He came and went as he pleased, going through the doggy door that was leftover from the previous owners of the house. The story behind his name? Well there really wasn't one. It was as simple as Pam saying he looked like a Tony. He wasn't even a real friendly cat. He would squawk like nothing else if you went as far as try and touch him, only allowing an occasional scratch behind the ears. Once it had started snowing Tony was spending a lot more time in the house. Jim had hauled him to the vet one day. With Savannah living in the same house they didn't want to take any chances with him. After shots and some paperwork he was returned 'home' with a bill of full health. Pam had too much heart to toss him out.

"Well…at least they all work," Jim said trying his best to sound optimistic as he plugged the cord into the wall and watched as all the brightly colored bulbs became illuminated. "We just have to untangle it."

Pam groaned and crawled down on the floor to sit next to Jim.

"That's going to take forever," she whined.

"But Pam," Jim whined right back. "Don't you want the house to look Christmas-y for Savannah?"

"Yes," Pam dusted off his shoulders. "Did you bring in the rest of the decorations?" Jim pointed to a small stack of boxes near the sofa, all marked with a messy sharpie marker that spelled out 'x-mas'. Pam went over and dug into the first box as Jim went to work on untangling their ball of lights. Tony watched the both of them through have open eyelids before getting bored and hopping onto the rocking chair where he curled up and went to work cleaning himself.

"Awww Jim do you remember this?" Pam tossed a green colored ornament his way. He turned it over in his hands and grinned. It was one of the ornaments Michael sent home as a Christmas gift to everyone one year. This one had all of their pictures in it and flurried with fake snow when you shook it.

"When was this from?" he smiled and tossed it back. Pam shrugged and rolled it between her palms.

"I think it was my first Christmas at Dunder Mifflin."

Jim worked on the tangled knot for a few more minutes before they had a long strand of lights they could wrap around their tree.

"Finished," he grinned, very proud of himself. "Ready to start decorating?"

Pam was bringing the box of decorations closer to their work space near the coffee table when the phone started ringing. Jim groaned and then smiled.

"They're trying to take you away," he stated in the most innocent tone Pam had ever heard. She laughed, ruffling his hair.

"I'll be right here dear!" Pam called playfully behind her as she hurried into the kitchen, catching the phone on the last ring. "Hello?"

"Pam! Hello, how are you?"

Pam froze a little, caught off guard. It was Richard. Jim had told her what had happened while she was sick that day and it hadn't really sat well with her. But she wasn't there that day to witness anything. Not to say she didn't trust Jim but she just decided it wasn't worth worrying about it. That was the last time they had had any sort of contact with him and it had been about 2 months.

"I'm fine Richard how are you?"

Jim craned his neck a little and caught Pam's gaze. He didn't try to pretend like he hadn't heard her. Pam knew that after the encounter a few months ago that any trust Jim had developed for Richard, which hadn't been much to begin with, had been tossed out the window. But she wasn't willing to give up quite yet. He seemed like a genuinely good person and she was happy he had taken an interest in his niece.

"Oh doing alright. How are things going over there?"

Jim heard Savannah begin to fuss from the bedroom and got up to go get her. Pam told Richard about getting over her cold and how her and Jim had just brought home their Christmas tree. Jim brought Savannah into the kitchen, her little cheeks flushed and curls flattened from where she had been lying. She rubbed her face into Jim's neck, making little low growling sounds as she tried waking up. Pam grinned and ran her fingers through her curls.

"So do you and Jim have any plans for tonight?" Richard asked, Jim going over to the fridge to get Savannah some juice, her head now rested comfortably under his chin.

"Hmmm," Pam twirled the phone cord around her finger as she turned to look at Jim, screwing on the lid to Savannah's sippy cup. They weren't really having terrific luck with sippy cups but they were trying to narrow bottle time down to only when it was time for formula. "No. No plans for tonight. We were just going to decorate our tree and maybe watch a movie."

"Well my wife and I are throwing our annual Christmas get together tonight at PF Changs with some of our closets friends and I was wondering if you and Jim would like to come with the baby?"

"Oh. Sure that sounds great," Pam kept her eyes on Jim and he lifted his head to stare at her. Savannah looked at her sippy cup in disgust and promptly threw it to the ground, apple juice puddling at Jim's feet.

"You little monster!" he growled playfully lifting her over his head. Savannah gave a squealy giggle and Pam replaced the phone gently on the cradle. She normally wouldn't make plans without running them by Jim first and she wasn't quite sure why she hadn't now. Maybe she was afraid it would upset Richard. Even though she knew this would more then likely upset Jim.

"So Pam…what did Uncle Richie have to say?" Jim asked his tone sarcastic as he sopped up the apple juice with a paper towel clutched between his toes. Savannah craned out of his arms towards Pam and she took her, patting her back lovingly.

"I don't want you to be mad," Pam said as Jim bent over to pick up the paper towel. He looked at her swaying slowly with Savannah.

"I won't be mad," Jim gave her a small smile and put his arms around her, resting his chin against her head.

"Promise?" Pam whispered her forehead against his neck. Savannah fisted up the fabric of Jim's shirt and cooed.

"Promise." Savannah's tiny hand curled around his pinky. Pam told him how she told Richard they would go to his get together. He exhaled, rubbing Pam's hip with his thumb. She pulled away to look at him.

"So?" she asked timidly. Savannah grinned unaware of the tense subject between Jim and Pam.

"Adah!" she cried happily, lifting her arms over her head. Jim smiled.

"It sounds like fun Pam."

"Really?" she asked, shocked. He moved a strand of hair away from her eyes gently.

"Yes. It's the holiday. I'm willing to give the whole Richard thing another go. If not for us definitely for this one," he squeezed Savannah's belly, her arms still over her head. She gave out a happy squeak. Pam leaned into Jim and gave him a kiss, using her free hand to wrap around his neck. When she pulled away a grin was on her face.

"I knew there was a reason I loved you."

* * *

"Are you sure he told you the right place _dear_?" Jim asked, leaning against the steering wheel and squinting to read the name of the street. 'Dear' had become their newest word to play around with. Pam had giggled saying that only 'old people' called each other 'dear'. Pam rolled her eyes.

"Yes _dear_. I'm not quite sure why you say it in that demeaning tone!" Light snowflakes melted on their windshield, twinkling red from the taillights in front of them. The street lamps seemed to glow even brighter when snow fluttered under its curtain of light.

"It wasn't demeaning," Jim insisted, making a right on the street they were on. He was sure they were more then a little lost.

"Why does this music sound so funny?" Pam asked, turning up the volume a little. On the panel it read 'Carol of the Bells' and listed the performers as the Trans-Siberian orchestra featuring Metallica. "Ah…no wonder its sounds so…rock and roll-y."

Jim snorted.

"Rock and Roll-y? She's enjoying it aren't you Littles?" he looked in the rearview mirror and smiled. Savannah was looking out the window at the snowy road, kicking her leg to the beat. She was in the middle of her 'bopping and bouncing' stage but restricted by her car seat this would have to do.

"Jim! Over there!"

"What? Give me a heart attack Beesley!" he turned into the parking lot of the PF Changs restaurant a line of people already filing out of the door. Pam had to laugh. It had been a long time since he had called her Beesley. The cold air hit Pam's warm cheeks and she shivered, happy to stick her head back into the car as she helped Jim unbuckle Savannah from her car seat.

"Wow…quite a crowd," Pam commented as they walked across the street to the front door. The line of people wrapped around the stop sign a good yard from the door way. A huge statue of a horse was by the entrance. It scared Savannah as she tensed and tightened the grip on Jim's neck. They pushed their way through the front door and managed to get in to the main entry way. People seemed to be more cooperative when they saw the baby in Jim's arms.

"Party of three?" a very flustered looking hostess asked, trying to hold a pile entirely too large for her of menus.

"Here let me help you out there," Jim took half of her pile and set it down on the sign in podium. She smiled gratefully.

"Thank you. It's so busy tonight. If I were you I'd go somewhere else and maybe try back tomorrow a little earlier. Right now the waits looking to be around an hour and a half."

"Actually…we're here with Richard Cancellaire's party," Pam had to elevate her voice a little in order to be heard above the chattering going on around them. At least it was warm.

"Oh of course. Beesley? He's expecting you," the hostess pointed Jim and Pam over in the direction of a rather large table that was in the main dining room. Pam was able to spot Richard out of the good 20 people in the room. Jim thanked her and wished her luck with the rest of the people waiting for a table. They made there way towards the dining room. Jim was happy Pam had offered to carry their diaper bag that was a bright pink and decorated with purple elephants.

"Pam! Jim! You made it," Richard got up from his spot at the table to greet them. He gave Pam a hug and she hugged him back a little awkwardly. It reminded her of holiday time when she was a little girl having to a hug aunts and uncles she never even knew she had.

"Yeah…this place is pretty well hidden," Jim commented, shaking Richard's hand. Richard smiled.

"Everyone," he called attention and soon 20 different pairs of strange eyes were on Pam and Jim. Pam felt her face redden almost immediately. She stepped back a little so her arm was touching Jim's. Savannah wrinkled her forehead in slight confusion. Who _were _these people?

"I'd like you to meet my sister in law Pam Beesly and her…," he paused a little and gave Jim an uncertain look. "And her friend Jim."

"Her boyfriend Jim. I'm her boyfriend," Jim corrected. Richard paused again.

"Right…of course. Her boyfriend Jim. And this is my niece. You all remember my brother and his wife who died a few months ago? This is their daughter." A gentle murmur rose among the table and Pam felt a little lightheaded and awful. Richard eased Savannah out of Jim's arms. For a minute Pam thought she would be okay. Savannah took a hold of either side of Richard's neck but then her face scrunched up and she started to cry unhappily.

"Aw it's alright Savannah," Richard cooed to her but she was too busy craning herself out of his arms.

"Dah da da dah da da!" the familiar chant left her mouth in a series of short cries before Jim brought her back to his chest. Everyone around the table was quiet. Pam swallowed hard.

Maybe this had been a mistake.

* * *

But things started to slowly calm down as they sat down next to a couple who were expecting their first baby sometime in January and a couple who had been friends with Pam's sister.

"So is it hard adjusting to all this?" the pregnant woman, named Patty Flag, asked. Her hair was auburn in color and trailed beautifully down her back. She had on a beautiful black maternity dress and her green eyes shone under the light. Her husband was dressed in scrubs. They came straight over after his shift at the hospital down the road. He was a cardiologist fresh out of nursing school. They were both very young about mid twenties.

"It's definitely different," Pam agreed. Savannah was in a high chair between herself and Jim who was talking to the husband of the other couple. Pam wasn't entirely sure but it sounded like he was talking about Tony which made her grin. "We just take it a day at a time."

"I'm just so worried you know?" Patty fretted softly. "I'm just so worried about being a good mother." Pam nodded her head sympathetically and told her about the bout of depression she had gone through when Savannah was first placed into her care. She said how everything just came so naturally to Jim and she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to make things work. The food came and Pam continued to talk with Patty beginning to feel much more at ease with Richard far at the other end of the table. As she heard Jim laugh to the left of her she knew he was feeling okay too.

"Ready for some yum-yums Littles?" Jim turned to Savannah and got a jar of baby food from their bag.

"Dah da," she grinned.

"You know…it makes me very upset that gorgeous little girl recognizes you as her father…what was your name? John?" a woman in her mid forties that sat across from Pam and Jim said to them. She had short blonde hair and a pointed nose. Her appearance said she was someone who had a great career and a good deal of money. Very prim and proper. "Her _real_ father was such a wonderful man." Everyone on their side of the table quieted. Jim raised his eyebrows a little.

"I don't doubt that her farther was a wonderful man," Jim said, his voice unwavering and nonchalant. "And all that is just baby babble mam. It's all used interchangeably." He said it in order to save him and Pam any further embarrassment. It was true that Savannah only babbled but da-da was definitely one of the words she knew the meaning of. The woman wrinkled her eyebrows disapprovingly.

"And what is that gunk you're feeding her? She should be well past stage 2 foods by now."

Jim fiddled with the lid of the jar from the Gerber food he was feeding Savannah. Sweet potatoes and yams. It was her favorite.

"And that bottle? Preposterous!" the woman spoke in a fevered furious tone now. After their incident in the kitchen Jim had put Savannah's juice into a bottle afraid of a repeat at the restaurant. Pam noticed she had sunk down in her chair a little her face burning.

"Aw calm down Elizabeth," the man Jim had been talking to pushed in her in a playful manner. "Pam and Jim know what there doing. Savannah's gorgeous and happy and healthy. What more could you ask for?" The woman glared at him. The whole table was now quietly watching the conversation unfold with awe. Pam wanted so badly to defend her and Jim but no words would come. She felt hopeless and weak. Elizabeth was now shaking.

"I'll tell you what I could ask for. That girl should have most definitely gone to Richard. I don't know what Michael was thinking when her and Sally wrote down in her records that if anything were to happen she should go to this woman," she pointed a finger at Pam who was now near tears. Everything was still. To make matters worse Savannah was still chattering away in happy baby babble at Jim which only further angered Elizabeth.

"Now Beth…just calm down," Richard stood up. "Let's talk about this."

"No need. I'm leaving. I can't bear to share a table with people who are obviously corrupting this beautiful child."

"Don't bother," Pam finally found her voice. "We're leaving." She lifted Savannah out of her high chair. Jim stood up and stared at Elizabeth for a long time.

"We aren't corrupting her miss," he said, his voice completely calm. "It's people like you who were trying to protect Savannah from. People who are aren't accepting."

Patty and her husband followed Pam and Jim out to the parking lot.

"We are so sorry," Patty said resting her hand on Pam's back. "She has always been so…awful. She was very disapproving of Matt and I when we decided we were going to have a child."

"You two are doing a wonderful job with that little girl," Matt agreed putting his coat around his wife's bare shoulders.

"Thank you. Both of you. So much. You're such wonderful people," Pam said gratefully.

"Hey give us a call okay? Maybe we can give dinner another try?"

"Yeah…that would be great," Jim finished buckling in Savannah and settling her down with some juice. Patty scribbled their number down on a scratch sheet from her purse and handed it to Pam.

"Have a great night you two. Don't let that woman get to."

"Thank you," Pam smiled. "Good night." She climbed into the car with Jim and promptly burst into tears. Jim turned on the heater and collected Pam in his arms. She cried against his neck for a few minutes before calming down enough to talk to him. "I miss her Jim."

"I know you do bunny," he said softly.

"That was terrible. I'm so sorry."

"Aw…it wasn't your fault. I don't think we'll ever fully understand people." He wiped some tears away with the pad of his thumb and kissed her nose.

"Should we give dinner another try somewhere else?" Pam asked, smiling as he moved his mouth down to her lips. She tasted salty from the tears.

"Definitely."

"Ma ma ma ma," Savannah said in a semi questioning tone from the backseat, her eyes on Jim and Pam.

Pam giggled and wiped away the last of her tears.

"That's right baby girl."


	10. Chapter 10

Enjoy!

Chapter 10  


"Hey fuzz butt…you almost gave me a heart attack." Pam and Jim were greeted by a hungry Tony as they walked through the door that night. His mews echoed strongly in his throat, his vocal chords unused to having to work. Savannah was sound asleep. Her head was on Jim's shoulder and her little mouth was even open a little as she snored softly. It was making Pam a little giddy, her and Jim had been laughing hysterically the entire way home.

"You're going to wake her up giggly," Jim scolded, poking her side affectionately as she followed him into 'their' bedroom. It was pretty safe to say Jim wasn't leaving anytime soon. This was their house now. It was a lot for Pam but it was more then she ever dreamed about. Living with Jim. Raising a _baby_ with Jim. It was all still so surreal.

"I'm sorry," Pam grinned. "I've just never heard her…_snore_ before. It's so adorable. We need to wake her up so we can play."

"Tomorrow momma," Jim smiled at her playfulness and set Savannah down on the changing table, slowly easing her out of her dress with Pam's help.

"We shouldn't have even given them the luxury of seeing her all dressed up," Pam said softly, getting Savannah's arm free of the sleeve. Elizabeth's words still hung over her head even though Patty had said she had gotten an earful about her own pregnancy Pam still felt incredibly awful. Almost as if she was intruding on someone else's territory. After changing her Jim just bundled Savannah up in her blanket and set her down in the crib, making sure the thermostat was set to a comfortable temperature.

"Oh boy what a night huh?" Jim leaned against the railing of the crib and ran his fingers through his hair. Pam put her arms around his waist and rested her chin against his shoulder.

"What a night," she agreed.

"I better feed this crazy animal," Jim chuckled at Tony who was sitting in the door jam giving them both a not so happy stare.

"Okay," Pam nuzzled into his cheek and he turned his head to kiss her. It didn't matter how many times they did it, every kiss still seemed as exhilarating and careful as the first one, his belly filling with familiar butterflies every time. Pam sat on the bed and watched as Tony allowed Jim to scratch his head.

"Come on cat."

"Jim?"

Jim stopped, the door closed halfway.

"Yes dear?"

Pam smiled.

"I love you."

* * *

"Ma ma ma ma."

It was this baby babble Pam was greeted with in the living room after coming in from finishing up with doing the breakfast dishes the next morning. It still wasn't too often the babble was a 'ma ma' babble. 'Da da' and 'ba ba' seemed to dominate most of the time. But anytime Pam did happen to catch a 'ma ma' babble she made sure it didn't go unnoticed.

"Boo boo!" Pam squealed excitedly. Savannah looked up from her toys and stared at her for a second before grinning and crawling over to her. She pulled herself up using Pam's jeans as balance. "You say momma so good!" Savannah didn't quite understand what Pam was saying but she did recognize momma and definitely recognized the excited tone her voice had taken.

Pam decided there was nothing cuter then Savannah in one of her Christmas dresses. Today she was in a velvet red dress with long sleeves and a white collar. Her small bit of strawberry blonde curls were clumped on her head with a tiny green bow that sparkled when it caught the light. Her socks were white with frillys around the edge and 'no slip grip' on the bottom and the same little cream colored shoes with the baby reindeer from the day before. Jim and Pam still avoided shoes whenever they could. But today was special. They were going down to the mall for Christmas shopping and to take Savannah to see Santa Claus.

"What are you crazy girls doing in here?" Jim came into the living room in a green sweater and jeans. He towel dried his hair which made it straggly and fluffy looking. Savannah let go of Pam's legs and plopped to a sitting position before doing her lightning crawl towards Jim.

"Awww…Savannah wouldn't you much rather _walk_ to your 'da-da'?" Pam asked, smiling as Jim tossed Savannah into the air and was met with giggles from deep within her belly. She was getting pretty good at balancing herself once she was into a standing position. Now it was just the matter of taking the first step.

"Are we ready?" Jim asked, tossing his towel into the rocking chair. Pam gave him a disapproving glance. After thinking about how happy she was with her and Jim were living together the night before this morning she seemed to be counting all the pet peeves that came along with living under the same roof as her best friend. Jim still had issues with hanging up towels and putting away clothes. Both of them still had a bad habit of forgetting about bottles in the bedroom. Even now they were still trying to figure out how all this baby stuff worked. Every day presented new experiences. Today definitely wouldn't disappoint in that category.

"As soon as da-da goes back into the bathroom and hangs up his towel we can go see…Santa!" Pam said excitedly as she took Savannah from Jim. He did as he was told and came back to join them in the living room, giving little throaty growls to add effect. Pam raised her eyebrows playfully and pinched his arm.

"I'll have you trained one day".

* * *

The mall was always busy this time of year. People came out in the masses to get their Christmas shopping done. Today was especially busy, full of shoppers who had waited the day before Christmas to jump at sales and save money. Pam and Jim didn't like the mall to begin with but December seemed to be just a tad bit worse. Savannah squirmed impatiently from her stroller.

"Calm down, please, bubbles," Pam gave Savannah a teething ring to gum on but she kicked her feet and whined up at her. Jim couldn't decide which tie to get for his dad and they had been standing in the men's department for at least 20 minutes.

"You know what…he's getting a gift card this year," Jim made up his mind and stuck a red and white polka dot tie back on its manikin. Pam chewed on some of Savannah's soft starter crackers.

"Are we ready then? To go see Santa?"

"Yes…I suppose we're ready to go see Santa. Are you sure this isn't too cliché?"

"JIM!" Pam scolded.

"Kidding! Kidding…that was a joke."

Savannah stared up at the two of them curiously. But Pam fully understood Jim's apprehension as they got in line behind the 20 + parents and toddlers that were in line to see Jolly old Saint Nick, everyone filling in their last minute Christmas requests.

"Oh boy," Pam moaned. Many kids were crying a lot of them hanging on to their parents as they got closer to the oddly dressed stranger. Savannah wrinkled her forehead a little and turned her head to look up at Jim and Pam again. Jim smiled.

"What's wrong bubby? If you aren't convinced 'ma-ma' and I are crazy yet then you just wait," he lifted her out of her stroller and she put a hand on either one of his shoulders.

"Don't listen to him Savannah," Pam pet the baby reindeer on her shoe. "I'm not crazy." Savannah stared at Jim, looking confused beyond belief, her forehead still wrinkled in an undirected concentration.

"She's crazy…,"

"I'm not crazy!"

Jim just grinned and surprised her with a kiss; dragging it out longer then she herself would have in public. But once he pulled away she felt warm and pleasantly lighter, no longer minding the long line of people in front of them. Pam stayed attached to Jim feeling very content as Savannah babbled near her ear and played with her hair. But her stomach dropped suddenly as she caught sight of a familiar face. The only face that could ruin her moment of contentment.

Richard and his son were in the jewelry store right across from where Santa was stationed. She buried her face into Jim's arm and groaned.

"Jim…don't look now but Richard is in the store right next to us."

"What?"

Pam groaned again as Jim turned to his left to look.

"I said _don't look now_."

"Sorry Pam…he won't see us."

"But what if he does?" she whispered. "Maybe we should go…,"

"We're next!" Jim sighed. He set Savannah down in her stroller and gripped Pam's arms loosely. "Pam…we can't let him bother us. It's okay. And really what happened last night wasn't his fault. He didn't know she was going to say all those things."

Wow. Had he really just said that? Pam nodded slowly.

"I know…," she said, her voice just above a whisper. "But I just keep thinking about it. I keep thinking about all the things that she said and how I just _sat_ there."

"It was a lot to take in," Jim reasoned gently.

"But you did _something_ Jim. You stuck up for us and I just let her _attack_ you…"

"Who's next to see Santa?"

Pam and Jim looked up, Jim's hands still clamped over Pam's arms. To anyone watching it appeared that the two were in the middle of an intense argument, the both of them talking in hushed whispers. A woman dressed in a brightly colored elf costume was standing in front of them.

"Well?" she asked impatiently. "We have quite a lot more kids to get through."

"Sorry," Jim apologized softly, Pam reddening in embarrassment as the line behind them, once blanketed in a calm chatter, fell silent. Savannah was turned around in her stroller, giving Pam and Jim a look as if to say 'oh great guys. What have you gotten us into _this_ time?'

"Ho ho ho…who is this little one?" the guy dressed up as Santa Claus gave a hearty chuckle as Pam set Savannah carefully down into his lap.

"Savannah," Pam answered smiling as she rolled the stroller off to the side. She was waiting patiently for the 'da da' cries but they never came. Savannah seemed to be very interested in the mans fake beard. Pam was pretty sure she had never even seen a beard before, real or fake.

"Oh Savannah…has Savannah been a good little girl this year?" he asked. Pam couldn't help but beam as Savannah sat perfectly calm and even yawned to further express her disinterest in sitting in the strangers lap.

"A very very good girl," Pam touched Savannah's hand gently.

"Would you like a picture?" the woman dressed as the elf asked Jim. He nodded.

"Sure. That would be good."

Jim took Pam's hand and gently led her behind the elf woman with him so she could take a picture. The elf woman made some weird faces and squeaky noises to get Savannah to smile but she just stared at her with her forehead wrinkled slightly in confusion.

"Littles…hey Savannah babe…look over here," Jim cooed and waved to her. "Hi bubbles." Once Savannah saw Jim she giggled and waved back to him, still using her experimental open and close method towards herself.

"She's cute," the Santa smiled as Pam lifted Savannah off of his lap. "Friendly too."

Pam laughed.

"Thank you Santa."

"Here's your picture," the elf woman handed Pam a sheet of photo paper with four wallet size pictures on it of Savannah and Santa.

"Awww look at this kid!" Pam smiled as she handed the sheet to Jim. It had come out perfectly. Her little Christmas dress blended well with Santa's clothes, almost as if it had all been planned. Her smile was genuine and her eyes were a light.

"She's beautiful," Jim agreed kissing Savannah on her head.

"Dah dah," she whined tiredly leaning into Jim's arms.

"Aw…now it's time to fuss," Pam grinned.

"Ready to go home and get our Christmas Eve party going?" Jim grinned. Their Christmas Eve party translated into a night just the three of them in bed with cheesy old Christmas movies and making store bought cookies for 'Santa'.

"Pam…wow what a small world huh?"

Pam had to work to stop the groan rising in her throat from coming audible. Savannah had just gotten comfortable under Jim's chin when she was detached from his arms by Richard, his son at his side with red bags from Macy's.

"Yeah," Pam laughed nervously. "Small world." Savannah's shrill shrieks caused people to stop and stare at the 5 of them standing in the middle of the mall. Pam hated to think what the people still in the Santa line were thinking.

"Aw is your mean old Aunt depriving you of sleep little flower?"

Richard's cooing voice sickened Jim to a certain extent. He was tired of dealing with him.

"She isn't depriving her of anything," Jim snapped unintentionally, taking Savannah away from Richard and readjusting her in his arms. "We just brought her down to see Santa."

"I'm sorry…did I do something?" Richard stepped back a little looking embarrassed.

"No…it's just been a long day," Pam offered an apologetic smile. Even though she knew full well they didn't have much to be apologetic about.

"Well I was going to call but this will save me the trouble. I'd like to invite you and Jim over to my home tomorrow night for a Christmas dinner. Would you like to come? Some of Savannah's family is going to be there."

Pam let out a long breath and squeezed Jim's hand hoping to silence him from saying anything.

"I don't know Richard. Last night was…a disaster."

Richard's forehead crinkled with concern.

"Oh yes…I'm very sorry about that. Elizabeth is my wife's mother and she's quite critical when it comes to family matters."

"She humiliated us Richard. I don't know how much I'd like to face all those people again," Pam said quietly.

"Aw…well it seemed that you hit it off pretty well with Patty. I'm sure she'd love to see you again."

"I'll think about it okay?"

"Fair enough," Richard grinned. "Give me a call tomorrow."

"I will. Merry Christmas."

Richard watched Jim who had busied himself with combing out Savannah's strawberry blonde hair with gentle strokes of his fingers. He caught his gaze, undoubtedly full of disapproval.

"Merry Christmas Pam."


	11. Chapter 11

Happy New Year everyone! Thank you again for your reviews. The feedback from this story has been amazing :) 

So I'm sorry I didn't mention this later but I'm on Livejournal under the username raaby(underscore)lilly if anyone has one on here and would like to friend me. I tend to post chapters over there before I do over here so I thought that would be nice if you'd like to do that. Just comment on my Friends post and tell me your from fanfiction and I'll be sure to add you.

Also if you don't have an LJ account they're really cool. For the standard account you don't even need to pay and there are a lot of really cool Office communities floating around as well as a zillion other fandoms :)

Enjoy!

Dru

Chapter 11

Like anxious little kids Jim and Pam were up way before 8 on Christmas morning. Jim made some coffee and the two of them sat on the couch looking at their tree. The wind was blowing outside and Pam knew they were looking at a white and chilly Christmas.

"When do you think she'll wake up?" Jim whispered. He exchanged a glance with Pam and the both of them started to laugh. Pam blew softly over the top of her hot mug and sat back against the sofa.

"Soon."

"What are you going to tell Richard?"

Pam sighed. They had talked a little bit about it last night. They did reason that Richard was just different. He wasn't too good at getting his feelings across in a way that Jim and Pam could really relate. He seemed very interested in Savannah and with left over guilt still overshadowing Pam about all that time he spent worrying she couldn't imagine keeping her away from him.

"I guess it wouldn't be so bad if we stopped by for dinner. He said some of Savannah's family would be there. I would hate to deny her any of that." Jim played with the handle of his coffee cup and stared at Pam. She still never failed to amaze him. She was gentle and sweet and caring. All the things he had already known but that were coming out even more with Savannah. Her pajamas white with little red hearts and the sweatshirt she wore was too big. And when he leaned over to brush some hair away from her neck he could tell it was his. Under any other circumstance he wouldn't let Savannah near Richard again. But with Pam's completely logical views it was hard not to agree.

The baby monitor on the coffee table started to pick up on some chatter in the bedroom. Savannah was awake and making baby talk with herself. Pam grinned and listened. Savannah was quite the chatterbox in the morning. She was becoming more content with being by herself. She could play quietly for almost 40 minutes at a time now. Which was beneficial when the two needed a break or if the house needed to be cleaned. Which was most of the time.

Tony hopped up on the coffee table and sniffed at the monitor, his tail swishing in its normal agitated way. He arched his back and hopped off once Savannah started to whimper and then cry, indicating it was time to get up.

"I'll get her," both Jim and Pam said at the same time. They smiled and Pam giggled.

"You can go get her…I'll get our presents together."

Jim smiled.

"Thank you," he teased and set his cup on the table. Once in the bedroom Jim saw Savannah was standing up in her crib, awaiting his arrival. He had to laugh a little at how cute she looked in her red and green Christmas pajamas.

"Well…Merry Christmas Littles!" he said smiling when she gave him a sleepy sort of half grin, stretching her arms out. Jim lifted her and gave her a kiss on the side of her head as she moaned a little in an attempt to wake up. When he brought her into the living room, Pam had stacked their gifts in three neat piles near the coffee table.

"Merry Christmas Savannah," Pam took Savannah from Jim and got a baby yawn in return. Savannah rubbed at her eyes, slightly irritated from the dull light flooding into the living room. Pam sat with her on the floor next to her pile and Jim sat on a chair across from them next to their tree.

"Look at all these presents for you Littles!" Tony hopped on to the back of Jim's chair as he pushed a present towards Pam. "I think we should open that one first. It's from Dwight and Angela."

"I can only imagine," Pam smiled as Savannah grabbed the bow from the top of the brightly wrapped box. Pam unwrapped it and laughed when she pulled out little footsie pajamas printed with green and gray camouflage. In the card it said 'so Savannah can prepare for recruitment into Dwight's army' and also included a 25 dollar gift certificate to 'Babies R Us'. Pam tossed Jim the card and he smirked, setting it up on the coffee table.

Other presents that morning included a wagon full of mega blocks from Toby and Sasha, a Little Mermaid tea set from Phyllis, tons of clothes and a few brightly colored pacifiers from Jan, and Elmo sippy cups with a set of Sesame Street plates from Karen. All her new toys came from Pam's grandfather. Jim and Pam got a gift card for Marie Calendars and few other little gifts from family.

"Well…all done! You made out pretty well Littles," Jim said down to Savannah. She sucked contently on one of her new pacifiers from Jan and held on to Pam's shoulder for balance. "Hey Pam? What's that package?"

Pam followed the path of Jim's finger and noticed a last box hiding behind a few low branches. There wasn't any wrapping on it and was pretty light when Pam lifted it. A note was attached. She noticed her grandfather's messy scrawl almost immediately. She could feel the pace of her heart quicken.

_Pam_

_Make sure you're alone when you open this._

_--Grandpa_

* * *

The window just above the sink in the kitchen rattled around noisily as the wind picked up and the sun sank lazily along the horizon. The extra heater had kicked in around noon as the snowfall ceased outside and left an impressive blanket of white over the ground.

"Saaaaaavaaaaaaanaaaaah," Pam sang down to the little girl. She was banging the pink plastic cups from her new tea set together and bouncing back and forth, all the while humming something only she understood, obviously content in her own little world. But once she heard Pam's voice near her ear she was anxious to stretch her arms out to her and give out a little shriek as she was lifted off the ground. The day had been comfortable and lazy and Pam couldn't believe it was already 5:30. Jim was snoozing on the couch. A Christmas Story, still on its 24 hour repeat, was playing quietly and splashing dull colors against the darkened walls of the living room.

"Da da," Pam whispered, nuzzling gently into Jim's ear. Jim's eyelids lifted slowly and he smiled lazily once he saw Pam leaning over him, Savannah in her arms.

"Hi baby," he whispered, his voice groggy from sleep. He brought Savannah against his chest and stretched out, still sleepy.

"It's time to get ready to go," Pam said softly. She was fighting the urge to call Richard and tell him that they would have to pass for tonight. The wind rattled the window pane again. It wasn't like she wanted to take Savannah out into the cold. She wanted to keep her comfy on Jim's chest while Pam herself made her a warm bottle and let the sound of their even breathing lull her to sleep. Even Tony was lying comfortably atop the warm cable box, licking his paw only half-heartedly. Jim set pleading eyes on her.

"Do we have to?" he whispered softly. He took Pam's hand and pulled her down on the couch, gently pushing her head so it was resting against his shoulder. He was so warm and Savannah curling her tiny body into her arms and letting out a content sigh pretty much sealed the deal.

"No," Pam answered softly back. Savannah picked her head up, still sucking on her pacifier. Her big blue eyes were alive and tinted with the promise of sleep. One of her tiny hands was tangled in Pam's curls and she couldn't resist pressing a wet kiss to her tiny nose. Savannah giggled and hunched her shoulders a little, lying back against Jim.

"I'm glad you came around," Jim whispered, his voice coming out half-way husky when it met her ear. Pam felt her spine tingly pleasantly. She didn't remember much else about their Christmas night.

It was all a blur of gentle kisses and sneaky touches as Savannah fell into a dream filled sleep on top of Jim's chest.

* * *

New Years came and went and Pam had decided to enter the new year with a new positive attitude about being a mother and about her and Jim's relationship. Two teeth were now poking out of Savannah's bottom gums. Words were still limited to 'ma ma', 'da da', and 'ba ba' and the walking hadn't quite come yet either. The long bouts of unassisted standing were about all she would do. Jim had joked that she was just teasing them. She could walk if she wanted to. Pam still hadn't gotten up the courage to open the package from her grandfather. It was laying patiently for her on the bottom of the closet. Richard never called after they hadn't shown up on Christmas. Pam hadn't made too much of an attempt to get back to him either.

"Up, up, and awaaaaaay!" Jim sang, lifting Savannah up off his chest and soaking in the scream-y giggles that left her mouth. They hadn't played that game in a long time. Pam was turning down the comforter on her side for bed, fretting a little and feeling extremely anxious. Tomorrow she and Jim would return to Dunder Mifflin for the first time in almost 6 months. Under their circumstances Jan and Michael had both graciously allowed them to take their positions back at the paper company, having employed temporary fill-ins while they were gone. Pam knew she couldn't stand up the offer. She was tired of letting her grandfather support them. And she _missed_ being there. But all this had one very big downfall.

"Are you excited for day care tomorrow Littles?" Jim asked, growling near Savannah's ear and laughing as she contracted a little, continuing to giggle helplessly.

"Are you sure she can breathe?" Pam laughed as Jim gave Savannah a second to catch her breath before nuzzling under her little Nike shirt and laying kisses across her belly. Fully riled up now, she gave out an almost breathless laugh, kicking her little chubby legs every which way. Jim laughed and unpinned her, watching as she rolled over on to her stomach and stared at the both of them, cooing happily.

"She's fiiiiine," Jim grinned. Pam reached over and tried straightening out the hair that curtained above his eyes. Jim caught the worry behind hers. "Are you okay?"

"I'm nervous about day care Jim," Pam let out a long breath. Savannah crawled into her lap and reached for the warmed bottle on the nightstand. Pam cradled her and gave her the bottle. Another thing the little girl had mastered. Feeding herself a bottle. Jim sighed and pat Savannah's curly head.

"She'll be okay Pam. I promise. It was rated one of the best nursery schools out here. And Savannah…she has so much instinct in her. She loves people, I'm sure she'll be amazed by all these other little beings that are just like her."

Pam sighed unhappily as Savannah's eyelids slipped shut and big blue eyes were no longer gazing up at her.

"It's like we're abandoning her."

"We aren't _abandoning_ her."

Pam felt a little light headed.

"Why don't you sound like your even a little upset about this?" she felt a lump growing in her throat. "We aren't abandoning her but how is _she_ going to know that? 9 to 5 is a long work day Jim." Tears were splayed across her cheeks now and Pam was mad for letting herself cry. Savannah crinkled her forehead a little as one of her tears managed to slip onto her cheek. The sucking on her bottle had ceased. Jim gently eased it out of her mouth and took her carefully from Pam's arms, setting her into her crib across the room.

"Please don't cry Pam…everything is going to be okay. We knew this day would come." Jim crawled into bed and collected her into his arms, resting his chin a top her head. Just laying in his arms was making her feel immensely better. But she was still scared. No matter how much Jim insisted things would be alright.

Because come morning, they'd still be dropping her Littles off at daycare and venturing back into the world of the office.


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys! Just a short chapter to ease Jim and Pam back into work :)

Dru

Chapter 12

Savannah, Jim, and Pam were all still well into a good sleep when the alarm went off at 7 the next morning. Pam forced herself to wake up, reaching across Jim to turn it off. She lay back against her pillow and groaned, feeling sick. Rubbing her head she felt Jim shift next to her. This was definitely going to be tough. They hadn't woken up before 9 in a long time.

"Jim," Pam whispered, gently running her hand through his hair. He stirred a little but other then that, remained motionless. "Jim!"

Jim furrowed his brow a little before his eyes gradually opened. He squinted to see Pam and then let out a loud groan, lying back against his pillow as she had done. The realization it was time to get up and go to work made him feel a little light headed.

"I'm sorry. It's time to get up and get ready for work," Pam whispered. She felt near tears already but refused to be upset. "We have to be strong." Saying the words out loud only made her want to cry even more.

"I'll hop in the shower first? You can get Savannah ready and when I'm done I'll see if she'll eat."

Pam nodded. They had agreed that getting into a routine would be better for Savannah in the long run. Without hesitating anymore, Jim got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom and Pam faced the not so happy task of waking up Savannah. The whole time they had been together the little girl had been able to sleep as much or as little as her body felt necessary. Peering over the side of the crib didn't give Pam much more confidence about it.

There was never a time where Savannah reminded Pam more of her sister then when she slept. Her blonde hair was curled perfectly around her ears. Tiny arms were over her head as her little belly rose and fell. She was in pink pajamas with little puppy dogs hoping through hoops. There wouldn't be any easy way to do this.

"Savannah," Pam's voice came out in a squeak. She reached her hand down into the crib and gently started to rub Savannah's belly as she whispered her name again. "Savannah…Littles…it's time to wake up."

Savannah awoke with a start, blinking her eyes a few times before frowning up at Pam. She gave her a smile.

"Good morning."

In a surprise Savannah cooed back up at her and grabbed on to her hand. Pam was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to get through the morning tears-free. Just like normal routine, Pam took Savannah to the changing table and dressed her. For the first day of day care she had picked out a pink long sleeve onesie with two zebras on a small patch of grass on the chest along with little jeans she had fallen in love with. She tied a little clump of her hair up with a bow.

"There Littles. Go play okay?" she set Savannah down on the floor continuing to feel weak. Savannah looked up at her curiously before crawling over to the window to investigate Tony. Even he had a disapproving look on his face that clearly read 'what the heck are you _humans_ doing up at this ungodly hour?' When they had called the daycare to register they said to bring some playthings of Savannah's to keep there. While Pam busied herself putting some older toys into a bag Jim came out of the bathroom, hair wet and smelling sweetly of light cologne. Savannah was on lightning-speed crawl towards him almost instantly.

"Oh Littles!" Jim sang, lifting her into his arms. "You look sooooo pretty!"

Savannah fell into a happy fit of giggles and Pam had to smile, for a moment forgetting about the woes of the morning.

"It's weird to see you in a tie," she commented with a smirk, twisting the bottom of the fabric between her fingers. Jim smiled.

"No weirder then it's going to be seeing everyone again."

"I'm a little excited about it," Pam said.

"Yeah but…," Jim was about to say something when Savannah gave him a big grin and started tugging on his tie. He was beginning to feel torn. What if Savannah _did_ feel like they were abandoning her? He could hardly go to the bathroom without her putting up a fuss about it. "Is it going to be worth it Pam?"

Pam was a little surprised by his question. As she watched him nuzzle into Savannah's curls she realized the reality of what they were doing was beginning to become clearer to Jim. Watching Savannah tilt her head upside down to look at her, Pam started to cry and giggle all at the same time. They'd have to try.

For Savannah.

* * *

"Jim…Jim Halpert. This is Pam and this…," he paused to kiss Savannah's temple. "Is Savannah."

The atmosphere in the room was bright and friendly. The day care center was called 'Kids to Kids' and was set up in what used to be a two room Kindergarten school house. The room Savannah was assigned to was for infants through age 2. The room conjoining was assigned to 3 to 5. There were three care takers and about 8 other kids already in the room, a few walking around on unsteady legs.

"It is so nice to meet all of you."

One of the teachers gave them a warm smile. She had introduced herself as Ms. Chelsea. Around mid-twenties, Ms. Chelsea had a contagious smile and freckles bridging across her nose. Her honey blonde hair hung at her shoulders and her movements were slow and gentle. She had been the one Pam had talked to on the phone. Savannah was staring very intently at the other kids in the room.

"Here is her bag," Pam handed over the diaper bag she had put together. She had written Savannah's name on a few bottles and included juice and some of her starter crackers.

"Thank you very much," Ms. Chelsea smiled. "I promise Savannah will have an amazing time."

"Well Littles…," Jim took a deep breath. "It looks like this is good-bye for now." Seeing the pain in Jim's eyes and the uncertainty behind Savannah's was enough to make Pam start to cry again. Wet tears, big and warm flowed from her eyes as she cuddled onto to Savannah's back and buried her face into her.

"I love you Savannah," she whimpered. "I promise we'll come back okay?" A hand rested gently on her back and Pam looked up to see Ms. Chelsea.

"I'll take good care of your baby," she assured her. When Pam saw the intensity in her eyes and heard the earnest tone in her voice she knew it would be okay. Jim gave Savannah one last kiss and placed her into Ms. Chelsea's arms. Pam was quick to clamp on to his arm. She knew if they didn't leave now she'd never be able to. Savannah studied Ms. Chelsea carefully.

"Bye Littles," Jim murmured, waving to her. Savannah didn't wave back but instead crinkled her forehead curiously.

Pam and Jim would be half way to work before the frantic cries for 'da da' would begin.

* * *

"Really? She can wave?"

"Yes! She's so good at it too. We just need to convince her to quit waving to herself!" Pam giggled. "Thanks so much for those blocks. She loves them."

"I'm glad. They were really a big hit with Sasha when she was younger," Toby remarked, spinning his coffee cup absentmindedly between his hands. They had already been at work for almost 3 hours and Pam was glad the time was going by rather quickly. Toby had come over to the reception desk to talk as had many others would throughout the day. The main subject was Savannah and how beautiful she was and how big she was getting. Of course there was an abundance of pictures to go around.

"Is it weird? Taking care of someone else's baby I mean?"

About 3 timid questions in, Ryan couldn't quite stop. Jim thought that maybe it had something to do with Kelly's apparent eagerness to have children. Preferably with him.

"No…I don't know…it's a little complicated. I don't know how much I consider her 'someone else's anymore you know?" Jim fiddled with a pen that lay on his desk. Getting back into the groove of work had definitely been a challenge when he had baby on the brain. His visits to Pam's desk were frequent and he couldn't help but wonder how Savannah was faring at daycare. Was she worried they wouldn't come back? That was his biggest fear.

"Um…not to be rude or anything but…could we possibly wait until she's 18 before letting Kelly meet her?"

When Jim looked up and caught the smug grin on Ryan's face he knew he was kidding. Ryan sighed.

"I feel bad for Pam."

Jim looked over and saw Kelly leaning over the reception desk chattering away anxiously. Pam caught Jim's gaze and grinned tapping her watch. He shook his head, smiling when he looked down at the time in the bottom right hand corner of his monitor.

5 more hours to go.

* * *

"Am I ever going to get to hold her?" Jim whined.

"Noooo," Pam whined back Savannah cradled close to her chest. "You got to hold her when we picked her up!" The little girl cooed happily into Pam's ear. She was obviously happy to be home. Ms. Chelsea had done a great job and both Jim and Pam felt confident about continuing to leave Savannah with her. They had spent about 20 minutes after getting to daycare just familiarizing themselves some more with Ms. Chelsea, the other 2 teachers in the room, and the other kids that shared the day with Savannah. All the kids got daily report cards. Savannah's was taped to the fridge. Jim and Pam had shared a giggle about the last name Ms. Chelsea had written down. Jim had introduced them that morning and they knew she had just assumed. Pam felt guilty for loving the way it looked.

Name: Savannah Halpert 

Teacher(s): Ms. Chelsea, Ms. Erica, Ms. Lesley

How I ate today:

Nothing

Little

All **X**

AM Snack: peaches

Lunch: macaroni and pears

PM Snack: goldfish

How was I feeling today?

Happy

Sad

Cranky **X**

Active

Sleepy

Look what I did today!

Watched videos

Blew bubbles **X**

Picture cards **X**

Danced **X**

Played outside

Played ball

My toys **X**

How did I sleep?

11:20 AM to 1:37 PM

Additional Notes:

_Savannah_ _did amazing on her first day! A little nervous without mommy and daddy but very curious about the other little boys and girls around her. It's going to be such a delight to have her in our classroom!_

_Ms. Chelsea_


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

A whole week of daycare and work went by before Pam even knew it. Jim really liked Ms. Chelsea. Even Savannah seemed to recognize her now as someone who was going to take care of her. She also seemed more content knowing Jim and Pam would be back to get her. The Saturday following their first week back at work Savannah woke up with a fever. She was sneezing a lot and she wouldn't stop rubbing at her irritated eyes. Jim brought her out to the living room and deposited her into Pam's arms.

"She's sick," he said worriedly. He hated this feeling of hopelessness that was overtaking him. Normally when it came to Savannah he was the one to take charge and decide their next plan of action but for some reason he felt she needed to be with Pam. Savannah was rubbing her face against Pam's neck and crying hysterically, her little hands balled up into fists next to her curly head.

"Oh…baby," she whispered gently near her ear. "You'll be okay bunny." She looked back up at Jim who was standing awkwardly near the sofa.

"What's wrong?" Pam asked. Savannah moved around restlessly in discontent.

"Nothing!" Jim said a little quickly. He wasn't really sure _what_ was wrong with him. He had woken up feeling a little melancholy and seeing Savannah red-cheeked and fever ridden in her crib made him feel even worse. Maybe _he_ was sick too.

"Here…I'm going to get her some juice," Pam stood up and placed Savannah gently into Jim's arms. But the little girl wasn't having it this morning. She grew hysterical again, closing her eyes and hitting her little hands against Jim's chest. It didn't hurt of course but he was startled a little by the way she was acting. It was very unlike her to get violent.

"Ma ma ma ma mama!" Savannah wailed, craning out of Jim's arms and opening and closing her hands at Pam.

"Hey Littles…what's wrong?" Jim asked, pushing her head gently to rest against him. A warm mixture of tears, drool, and runny nose coated his collarbone but Savannah finally quit fighting him. Her breaths were shaky and unsettled in her efforts to calm down.

"Here honey," Pam handed Savannah a sippy cup full of juice and she started to drink hurriedly.

"Did…you see her?" Jim asked carefully, adjusting Savannah in his arms.

"Jim," Pam rubbed his arm gently. She saw the hurt clouding in his eyes. "It's okay. She just got fussy. She doesn't feel good."

"It was different…somehow…she was so _angry_…do you think something is going on at daycare?" he asked, his mind immediately wrapping itself around a thousand different scenarios. Pam took a deep breath.

"Remember Ms. Chelsea said that we might see some changes in her over the next couple of weeks? The environments new, the kids are new, being away from home and _us_ is new."

"But…she's such a little love-bug…I don't _want_ to see changes in her." Savannah had almost finished the entire cup of juice. Her head was still rested against Jim and she was using her free hand to play with her curls. Pam smiled.

"Maybe you're over thinking it," she said gently. "Look at that face…she's still our love-bug."

They had Savannah dressed in very girly 'Hello Kitty' pajamas and matching little slippers that had mini 'Hello Kitty' heads on them. When she finished her juice she held the empty cup out to Pam and cooed, seemingly back to normal.

"More?" Pam giggled and took the empty cup. "Maybe we should see if she'll eat then we can give her some baby Tylenol."

Jim smiled when Savannah lifted her head and made little happy, squeaky sounds up at him, resting a tiny hand on his cheek. He wasn't feeling so bad anymore.

"You know Littles…if the mood swings are starting this early I'm going to hate seeing you when your 13." Jim kissed her hot head and took her into the living room.

"And seeing boys," Pam sang from the kitchen, getting a bottle ready.

"Ha! Not if I have anything to say about it," Jim set Savannah on the ground and she grabbed hold of his legs to balance. Pam poked her head out of the kitchen and grinned.

"Don't worry…you won't."

Jim watched Savannah crawl over to the coffee table and grab hold of the remote control, one of her favorite playthings. The phone started ringing.

"Should I pick it up?" Jim called to the kitchen.

"Um…," Pam checked the caller ID. It read 'Restricted'. When Richard called it had his home phone number. "I'll get it! Hello?"

"Yes…hi may I please speak to Pam Beesly?"

"This is she," Pam rested the phone against her shoulder as she stuck Savannah's bottle into the microwave.

"Good morning Ms. Beesly. My name is June Roselli. I work with family services here in Pennsylvania."

Pam completely froze. The microwave beeped a few times but it was all background noise in her head. The word seemed to be repeating itself on loop in her head. Family service worker. Didn't they take kids away?

"Yes…is there a problem?" Pam asked nervously, her hands shaking slightly. The only comfort she had was her voice sounded kind and careful on the other end.

"No…there's no problem. I was calling about your niece. Savannah Cancellaire?"

Pam thought it was a cruel coincidence that she happened to glance at Savannah's first day report card on the fridge that read 'Savannah Halpert' across the top as the words left the strangers' mouth.

"Yes," Pam answered carefully. By this time Jim had come into the kitchen, Savannah in his arms. Her head was rested back against his collarbone and she was cooing softly.

'Who is it?' he mouthed.

"Is Savannah still in your care?"

"Yes…yes she is." Pam was beginning to panic.

"Well I would like to set up an appointment where you could come down to my office and we can get some legal matters settled. Is that alright?"

Pam's heart began to return to its original pace as relief flooded her body.

"Absolutely."

Jim walked over to the microwave and got Savannah's bottle, returning to the living room. He figured Pam would fill him in after she got off the phone. She talked with the worker for a few more minutes before setting a date for a week later to see her.

"Her name was June Roselli," Pam explained, sitting down on the couch next to Jim. Savannah was nestled in the crook of his arm as she drank her bottle, her eyes slipping shut every so often. "I set up a date to go down to her office and talk with her. I knew someone would contact us sooner or later."

Jim nodded, relieved that it was nothing to worry about. At least not today.

"What kind of 'legal matters' do you think she wants to talk about?" Jim asked. Savannah's little hands curled around Jim's hand as she finished her breakfast. He knew she could feed herself. But at 11 months old he wasn't any where near done babying her.

"Maybe to finalize my custody of her," Pam smiled her voice hopeful.

"That would be so…amazing," Jim said softly, running his pinky along a few of Savannah's tiny fingers.

"It would be," Pam agreed resting her head against Jim's shoulder. He rested his head a top of hers and yawned, using his free hand to lace around her waist. His voice was gentle as it whispered near her ear.

"It would be amazing for Savannah to officially have you as her momma."

* * *

Pam had forgotten she had invited Dwight and Angela to dinner until about 4:30 when she shook Jim awake and started to fret.

"We could always cancel," he answered simply, rubbing sleep from his eyes. After Savannah had finished her bottle Jim had put her in the bedroom and then he and Pam proceeded to conk out on the couch and sleep the day away.

"Cancel? On Angela?" Pam pulled a box of spaghetti noodles from the pantry. Jim sat at the table still trying to wake up.

"Good point."

"Plus…don't you think it would be nice to have some guests? Some real…_invited_ guests?" Her voice rose a little as she clattered around under the stove in search of a pot.

"Yes," Jim agreed. "I think it would be good to have some guests to our little cave." She smiled at him over the box of noodles.

"Do want to get some cheesy bread going or something?"

"Awww…look at you the little chef!" Jim teased, getting up and putting his arms around her waist.

"Jim!" she scolded, hitting him playfully with the box. "Are you going to help or not?"

"Depends…,"

She swiped at him and the two started to playfully wrestle around the kitchen. Tony watched them through half closed, disapproving eyes from his spot on the windowsill. The baby monitor on the counter lit up as Savannah started to cry from the bedroom.

"I forgot about Savannah," Pam moaned, guilty. "We haven't even bathed her today."

"Ah…as long as you have dinner under control without me…,"

"GO! You little trouble maker!" Pam swatted him on his way out of the kitchen. He smiled.

"Love you!" he called behind him. Pam had to giggle, shaking her head.

"Love you too!"

* * *

"Ha! She looks great in it. What did I tell you? Didn't I _tell you_ she would look great in it?"

Dwight spoke as if he had made some terrific point and seemed very proud of himself. Angela crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow in that Angela way.

"I told him if we were going to buy her some clothes we should get her some _girl_ clothes…not camouflage…_boys_ wear camouflage," she explained. Jim had taken the liberty to dress Savannah in the pajamas they had gotten from the two for Christmas. They looked cozy and she seemed to like them. Dinner was over and now the four of them were in the living room, drinking coffee and watching Savannah play. She really liked Dwight.

"Aw…she can't tell the difference. She looks like she likes them even," Jim smiled and watched as Savannah climbed over Dwight's lap in order to reach a toy on the other side of him. Pam giggled.

"I think she likes you Dwight."

Dwight looked up at Pam for a second and then back down at Savannah who was trying to put one of her pacifiers into his mouth. Pam covered her mouth to stifle her giggles. Jim grinned at the look of horror on Dwight's face.

"See? She's sharing."

"Ucky…Savannah…you don't want to share you pacifier with him," Angela insisted. The little girl sat contentedly in Dwight's lap and started to laugh and clap her little hands together when she saw Jim and Pam laughing. The rest of the night was spent talking mostly about Savannah. Dwight brought up the subject of her first birthday party which was only a month away. Being so busy with her, Pam had forgotten all about it. Dwight had an elaborate Harry Potter meets Star Wars theme going on in his head. Pam said they'd have to think about his offer. Although Pam herself was leaning more towards a cute, girly, hearts sort of thing.

Savannah had been born on Valentines Day.

Even after Dwight and Angela went home around 8:30 the three were still wide awake after their day of sleep. Pam could only think about the box full of her sisters' things that were at the bottom of her closet along with the still unopened package from her grandfather. She knew she'd have to open it sometime.

"Jim?"

He was lying on the couch watching 'Back to the Future' on Lifetime. Savannah was sitting up on his chest, bouncing and giggling and cooing. Just loving life. She still had a mild fever but seemed to be doing a lot better.

"Yes?" he looked up from the TV and steadied Savannah with his hands on either side of her. Pam took a deep breath.

"I think I'm going to go through some of my sisters things."

Jim stared at her for a long time.

"Do you want me to help you?"

"No…no it's okay. You stay out here and play with Savannah…it's something…I think I need to do alone," she said softly. Jim nodded slowly.

"Okay…call me if you need anything."

Pam gave Savannah a little wave on her way to the bedroom.

* * *

When her sister had died her grandfather had gone through her things with a few cousins so they could empty out the house. Pam hadn't been able to bring herself to go. Her grandfather had given her a few boxes of things he said that her sister would probably have wanted her to have. They had gone directly to the bottom of the closet. Out of sight out of mind.

Pam crossed her legs and sat on the floor, her head rested against the foot of the bed. The closet door was slid open in front of her and the boxes were still there, neatly stacked. She could feel her heart thumping harder against her ribcage, her stomach doing flip flops. Taking another deep breath she pulled the top box towards herself and carefully opened it. A lot of it was things that her mother had given her sister. An old wedding picture of her and her dad. A picture of Sally on the swings with Pam next to her when they were little girls. Pam started to cry softly, Savannah's giggles muffled but strong in her ears. She closed the box and pushed it aside letting out a few staggering breaths before pushing it back into the closet. The whole thing reeked of her sister. She could see her so clearly in her mind. Even growing up she had been the nurturer. The born-to-be-mommy from day 1. The box went back on the top of the other two.

Pam closed her eyes, warm tears spilling their way down her cheeks. Deep down she knew she hadn't been quite ready to do this. She heard Savannah squeak happily and Jim making growling sounds. The brown package from her grandfather was still at her side. The pace of her heart continued to quicken. The letter was still lying on top. _Make sure you're alone when you open this_. The words taunted her. She cradled it her lap, wiping a tear off her cheek before tearing it open.

It was a beautiful green frame, fake ivy around the border. Inside the frame was a picture of Pam holding a newborn Savannah in her arms. Sally was lying in bed, peaking over the side of Pam's arms. She was beaming at her newborn daughter, her face tired but happy. Underneath the frame were legal files. Savannah's original birth certificate, a copy of Sally's death certificate, and a business card. _June Roselli_. A legal adoption paper. Her grandfathers' scrawl was on the back of June's card.

_Call her Pam…it's what Sally would have wanted._

Pam felt her throat begin to constrict in a tight knot. It hurt her to breathe. And when she did it ended in a painful sob. She gently ran her finger over the picture. Sally looked so beautiful.

"Why did you leave me here?" Pam moaned hysterically, fighting to take another breath. "She's so beautiful Sally. So so beautiful."

The door creaked open a half an inch and Savannah's curly head poked through the small opening. She grinned when she saw Pam.

"Ma ma," she cooed happily, sitting up on her legs and opening and closing her hands at Pam.

"No Savannah!" Pam sobbed her voice raw and weak. Jim appeared in the doorway, startled by the unfamiliar tone Pam's voice had taken.

"Pam…," Jim said softly catching sight of the picture in Pam's hands.

"I am _not_ your momma," she wailed. "_This_ is your momma. Not me Savannah. Oh my god." Pam rocked back and forth continuing to sob. Jim got down on the floor and brought her into his arms.

"It's okay Pam," he whispered. He knew there wasn't anything he could say to stop her grieving. Her eyes were drenched in pain. He had never seen anything so heartbreaking in his life. Pam clutched him desperately.

Another sob escaped her lips.

"Jim…I can't do this."


	14. Chapter 14

Hey everyone. A few things to address before beginning this chapter

First off, thank you so much for all of your wonderful reviews. I'm really glad everyone has fallen just as much in love with Littles as I have

Secondly, I know a lot of you are left anxious for the next chapter and I have decided to try out a 'next chapter preview' at the end of each chapter that tells a little bit about whats to come for Jim and Pam without any spoilers. Tell me how you guys like it and maybe I'll continue with it!

Thirdly, I've gotten feedback on LJ concerning this story. I've been able to identify Polka Dot Jewel and she's been amazing. But two other people have added me as friends that I haven't been able to identify and therefore haven't added yet. So if your katlynnelore or dancer288 please let me know so I can add you! If anyone is still interested I can be found over at LJ with the name raaby(underscore)lilly.

Lastly, last week I created my first ever fan-video and of course it was of our very own Jim and Pam! If your interested in watching it the link is over at my livejournal. I posted the link on the Friends Only post so you don't have to add me if you want to watch it. I would love some feedback from you guys:)

Enjoy!

Chapter 14

Jim wasn't sure he understood what Pam had meant when she had said '_I can't do this'_.

She definitely wasn't herself. Grief had overtaken her like it had so many nights in the past when Savannah had first come to live with them. He told Pam to sit on the bed and try and calm down while he put Savannah to sleep but she didn't seem to hear him. She stayed glued to the floor, her eyes never leaving the picture frame on the ground next to her.

Of all nights Savannah could have chosen to be difficult Jim wished it hadn't been tonight. She was still fully awake after having slept all day and was beginning to feel fever-y again. Like that morning all she wanted was to be with Pam. But the cries for momma fell on deafened ears as Jim tried feeding her a bottle to get her sleepy. But she had fussed and cried and was persistent on having Pam, screeching out her heartbreaking cries for 'ma ma' as loud as her little lungs would allow. It was almost 1:30 in the morning before Jim finally managed to get the little girl to sleep. In a last fetal attempt to get Jim to take her back to Pam, Savannah had let out the most pain filled sob she could muster up and collapsed into his chest, falling asleep within seconds. Jim patted her back and rubbed his aching head.

"Good _god_ Littles," he muttered. He had never experienced something so painful in his life.

He hadn't forgotten about Pam in the bedroom. Afraid bringing Savannah in to the room to rest her in her crib would upset her; Jim carefully set the sleeping baby down in her playpen next to the couch. He gently eased a pacifier into her mouth before carefully making his way back to the bedroom. His heart nearly shattered when he saw Pam still sitting where he had left her at the edge of the bed. He quietly slunk down on the floor next to her. He pulled her into his arms and a fresh wave of tears soaked through his shirt. No words were exchanged. He held her tightly and every so often nuzzled into her ear whispering 'I love you'. If nothing else to make sure she was going to digest something positive.

Another hour and a half or so passed before Pam let Jim carry her up to the bed. Her eyes were blank and void of the original devastation they had held earlier in the night. Now…there was nothing. That scared Jim more then Pam saying she couldn't do it. Even more then the body wracking sobs. The complete absence of emotion made him want to cry or scream or both. Instead he rubbed Pam's belly gently and watched as her eyes slowly began to close. It had been something he did a lot when they had first started dating. It always made her giggle and she had always fallen asleep afterwards. Hoping it would stir up some good feelings he continued a gentle rhythm and once he was sure she was asleep her pressed a light, long kiss to her lips.

"I know you can do this Pam," he whispered near her ear. "We're doing this together. I know you don't want to quit. I know you love Savannah. _You_ know deep down that you are her momma right now. You'll never be able to replace your sister. But while we're raising her we aren't going to let her forget what a wonderful person her real mother was. You didn't carry her in your belly but you're carrying her in your _heart_."

He got up out of bed and carefully made his way to the door. He stepped out into the hallway and before closing the door he stared back at Pam. A bit of hair had fallen into her eyes and her chest rose and fell steadily while she slept. At least he could rest easy knowing she wasn't awake and mourning over her sister.

Back out in the living room he poked his head into the playpen. Savannah was wide awake again, staring up at him. He crooked his head a little to the side and she let out a soft giggle.

"Baby-love? I thought you were out for the night," he whispered, lifting Savannah into his arms. She nuzzled under his chin and let out a tiny, contented sigh. Somehow he felt she was trying to apologize for earlier. "I love you Littles."

He stretched out on the couch and rested Savannah on his chest. She sat up and stared at him. She yammered in baby talk for a few minutes and Jim grinned, patting her back.

"Well…Littles…that's all _very_ interesting but I think we should go sleepy-sleeps now what do you think?" Jim twisted a curl around his finger. Savannah obediently rested her head against his shoulder. Her eyes remained open but the intervals of time between re-opening them were growing longer and longer. Gently Jim started to sing 'Baby Love' near her ear. He was sure he wasn't doing much justice to the real Supremes but it was all in the delivery and Savannah loved the attention. Once her even breathing told Jim she was asleep again he laid quietly and just soaked in their moment of contentment.

He didn't want to think about what tomorrow would hold.

* * *

"Please," Jim begged. He still couldn't believe he was doing this. "It'll only be for a couple of hours." 

Dwight stared at him skeptically.

"You did something to her Jim…taught her how _to read my mind_ or something didn't you?" his eyes were wide behind his glasses as he stared Jim down on the front porch. Savannah giggled and shrieked excitedly from Jim's arms. She strained towards Dwight and he cracked a half grin. "Well…I guess your teaching her _something_ right."

"You don't have to worry Jim," Angela was half way glaring at Dwight but when she took Savannah from Jim's arms and the little girl buried her head into her shoulder she seemed to smile. Angela didn't smile much. But when she did it was simple and pretty and Jim was happy Savannah could be one of the few people to make her do it. He hung Savannah's purple elephant diaper bag on Dwight's shoulder and patted his arm in a playful consoling matter.

"We should be back before 5. Be good for Dwight and Angela okay Littles?" Jim leaned over and made gentle kissing sounds in Savannah's ear which got her giggling again.

"Here…Dwight…why don't you get her some juice," Angela pushed Dwight a little towards the front door.

"You sure you didn't toy around with this baby Jim? She's not going to explode while you're gone or anything is she?" Dwight asked his voice still completely serious.

"Juice!" Angela scolded.

"Fine!" Dwight closed the door not too quietly behind him. Jim was left alone with Angela on the porch.

"What's wrong with her Jim?" Angela's voice was worried as she nodded towards the car parked out on the street. Jim let out a gentle sigh as he glanced over at Pam sitting in the front seat with her head bent to down to her lap.

"I don't really know Angela," he answered truthfully. "But I'm going to help her figure it out."

"I'll take good care of your baby," she said softly, patting his arm in real condolence. Jim smiled.

"Thank you." He gave Savannah one last kiss before heading down the walk way. Angela stood in the doorway for a few minutes with Savannah. She was looking over her shoulder, intent with the idea of seeing Dwight again.

* * *

"This'll be better then daycare. At least she seems to remember them from last night." Jim didn't really feel like bringing up the subject of Richard right now. Pam was still fragile from the night before. She seemed a little bewildered and when Savannah had excitedly called out for her when she woke up, Pam had stared at her like she didn't recognize her before bursting into tears. Jim thought it would be good to take her back to see Dr. Waddell, the doctor that had seen her back in November when she had her cold. Pam hadn't said anything all morning. It was tearing Jim up not to know what she was thinking. He caught her slowly nodding out of the corner of his eye. It was the first real attempt at any sort of communication all morning. 

"Pam," he coaxed gently. "Please talk to me."

Pam gently shook her head. She began tearing up as she spoke.

"What have we done Jim?"

They were only a few seconds away from the house. Jim pulled into the cul-de-sac and parked in the driveway, putting the car into park and taking the keys out of the ignition.

"What are you talking about?" he asked gently. He reached out to touch her hair and almost died when he felt her cower away.

"With Savannah? What are we doing Jim?" she was still avoiding his gaze.

"We're raising her. Like your sister wanted you to remember? It was written in Savannah's records that if anything were to happen she would go to you." All this was very confusing to him. For Pam the conflicting emotions of her sisters' death and the utmost abundance of love she had for Savannah was a little unbearable. She hated making Jim feel so terrible. She hated wanting to ignore Savannah. It wasn't her fault she was feeling so awful.

"I just want it to stop hurting Jim," Pam broke down. "When is it going to stop hurting?"

Jim reached over and put his arms around her. This time she gripped him tightly and nuzzled under his chin, allowing the tears to drip in messy trails off her cheeks.

"It may never stop hurting Pam," he answered gently. "But you know what? Your sister isn't gone." She pulled away a little to stare at him. He still thought she was gorgeous. Even though her eyes were red and puffy and pain was still evident in her face. "She lives in that little girl. We have to do Sally justice by taking care of her."

A long silence went by. Pam rested her head back against Jim's chest and just listened to the gentle beat of his heart.

"Your right," she whispered. "Your right…I…I don't know what happens to me Jim."

She couldn't understand why she went through such drastic episodes of devastation but it was really beginning to leave its mark emotionally.

"I think we should still go and see Dr. Waddell," Jim said gently. "Maybe he can give us the name of a good physiatrist."

Pam looked up at Jim, the initial fear he had seen the night before beginning to return.

"Jim…I'm scared," she whimpered, her voice wavering dangerously.

"Maybe just for a few visits," Jim tried softly. He could feel her fingers taking hold into his arms. He rested his forehead against hers and steadily her breathing returned close to normal. "I'm obviously not doing a wonderful job."

"Your doing great daddy," Pam said, a lump in her throat but a smile on her face as she stared up at Jim. "I'll go."

"Thank you boo," he whispered, holding her against him. He kissed her on the side of the head. "I promise things will get better."

Pam nodded against his chest.

"I don't want to go today though," she said gently.

"We don't have to go today." Jim pushed some hair out of her eyes. He cocked his head a little to the side. "What do you feel like doing?"

The answer came without hesitation.

"Seeing my baby."

* * *

"You hardly gave us any real time to _bond_," Dwight complained. "20 minutes is not _bonding_." 

Jim grinned.

"20 minutes ago you thought she was going to read your mind then explode."

They had turned around and headed back to Dwight and Angela's. Angela had an undeniable grin plastered on her face when she had opened the door. It made Pam happy to see her smile. Leading them into the living room they soon found out why. Dwight was laid out on the couch with Savannah cuddled comfortably underneath his chin. She was sucking methodically on her pacifier and twirling Dwight's hair around her little fingers. Jim knew it was way too cute for Dwight's own comprehension.

"Look at those two," Jim smiled as Pam started to giggle at his side.

"Instant friends."

Savannah put her hands on Dwight's chest when she heard Pam and Jim's voice and pushed herself up into a sitting position. Her eyes lit up and she soon had her arms high over her head, opening and closing her hands at Pam.

"Ma ma," she called her tiny voice coming out groggy. Her pacifier fell from her mouth and bounced on to Dwight's chest.

"Littles," Pam felt the words hitching in her throat. She lifted the tiny girl into her arms and started crying when she nuzzled into her face and started cooing, happy she was finally where she wanted to be. Jim rested his hand on Pam's waist and Angela sat down on the couch next to Dwight. He felt her searching for his hand and when she found it she held it tightly, her eyes never leaving Pam.

"I'm sorry you guys," Pam laughed awkwardly, wiping tears away with the pad of her thumb. "It's just been a long day." Angela stood up.

"Let us take you guys to dinner," she offered gently. Pam looked into Angela's face and saw the sincerity and kindness that was there. She felt a hand rest gently on her arm.

"That would be great," Pam grinned through the last of her tears.

"Good," Dwight said standing up. "This'll give me and…what do you guys call her? Mini?"

"Littles," Jim, Pam, and Angela all corrected at the same time. Savannah gave Pam a very confused look, crinkling her forehead as if saying 'who me?' Pam kissed her nose and Dwight took her back into his arms after rolling his eyes.

"No matter. It'll give us time to finish our bonding. I like mini better," Dwight said finally. "If she's going to be my second in command then she needs an undercover name anyway."

"I thought _I_ was your second in command," Angela grumbled. Jim snorted.

"Uh-oh. You're on your own with this one pal."

While Dwight and Angela playfully bickered their way to the door Jim took Savannah and held her over his head.

"Did you have fun pretty girl?" he sang. Savannah kicked her tiny legs and squeaked happily. Jim laughed.

Pam reached up and playfully tickled Savannah's belly. She contracted like a little rollie-pollie bug, squealing happily.

"Uh-oh Littles! The momma monster is back!" Jim smiled, tossing her in the air before setting her into Pam's arms. Pam giggled, thinking about Dwight's affectionate 'mini' nickname.

"I promise we'll set a time where you can spend more time with your Uncle Dwight."

"You sure he won't be a bad influence on her?" Jim said playfully. Pam looked over at the exact moment Dwight was helping Angela into her coat. He twirled her in a slow and gentle circle, kissing her carefully. Angela was beaming up at him as she pulled away gently, Dwight catching sight of Pam.

"Hey! Are we going or what? That new Star Trek restaurant just opened around the corner…,"

"Dwight!" Angela smacked him, her familiar glower back on. "We are _not_ going there!"

"No," Pam smiled as Jim laced his arm through hers. "I don't think we have anything to worry about."

* * *

**Next chapter preview:** the visit to June Roselli our family worker, arising suspicion at Savannah's daycare, and a visit to Dunder Mifflin with Littles (including a first meeting with Michael) 


	15. Chapter 15

Hey guys!

I wasn't able to have everything in the chapter preview from the last chapter fit in this one without it being crazy long or not fitting well together. So I'll skip the chapter preview for next chapter this time until I can get the kinks worked out and it should be back with Chapter 16 :)

Enjoy!

Dru

* * *

Chapter 15

The week following Pam's meltdown Savannah became clingy again. Dropping her off at daycare had become a huge hassle, so much so that one morning Jim had gone into work by himself while Pam took her back home. The scariest for both of them was she had started cowering away from Jim. Anytime she was left alone with him Savannah would plunge into hysterics and scream for Pam. Jim was convinced something was happening at daycare.

"Why else would she be acting this way?" he asked. Pam knew it was causing a lot of anxiety for Jim and she wished she had an answer.

"I don't know why she's acting this way," she answered timidly. At first it had been gratifying knowing Savannah seemed to need her but now, especially with the negative response she was giving to Jim, Pam was feeling overwhelmed by the amount of attention the little girl was demanding from her.

"What's _the matter_ Littles?" Jim had pleaded with her one night. Pam had gone to take a shower and Savannah was left with him while he cleaned up the kitchen after dinner. Once Savannah realized Pam wasn't in the room she had panicked and started crying. Jim went to her and lifted her out of her high chair, holding her above his head as she squirmed anxiously. "Please Savannah. I don't know what's wrong. You're scaring me kid."

It was hard to talk over all the screaming.

* * *

The week was tedious and hard on everybody. Things only escalated when on Thursday night they got a call from Ms. Erica, one of the teachers in Savannah's classroom. It couldn't have come at a worse time. Pam was busy trying to make dinner after an agonizingly tiring day. She and Jim were feeling a little irritated with each other. It was all stemming mostly from the odd way Savannah was continuing to act. They weren't 'fighting' per say but they were feeling pretty borderline. Savannah balanced on one hip as Pam tried locating a pan with the other, Tony under foot the entire time demanding food. A headache had been brewing all day and Pam was about ready to scream when the phone rang.

"JIM!" she yelled through the house. Savannah and Tony both jumped. Tony scampered back out into the living room while Savannah started fussing, tugging at the collar of Pam's shirt.

"YES!?" he called back from somewhere near the garage. He was trying to find Tony's food.

"Could you get that?"

Jim was quick to snatch up the phone on the last ring.

"Hello?" he answered, out of breath.

"Mr. Halpert? Hi, it's Ms. Erica."

"Oh yes. Hi Ms. Erica."

"Hello. You and Pam seemed pretty preoccupied when you came to get Savannah today. I was wondering if you had a chance to read her daily report."

Jim thought for a second, coming into the kitchen. He covered the mouthpiece with his hand.

"Pam…did you read Savannah's report card?"

"No…why?"

Jim shrugged and found the folded piece of paper next to Pam's jacket on the table.

"Sorry," Jim apologized. "I'm reading it now." His eyes scanned over the report. The _additional notes_ were pretty long today. Most of the time all they got was a quickly drawn smiley face. This time there was bold red letters addressing all the parents then added notes specifically pertaining to Savannah.

Additional Notes:

_**I would like to inform all the parents that this week we are introducing a new teacher into our classroom. Ms. Leslie has decided to take an early retirement and will be leaving us at the end of this month. We will miss her but we are happy to welcome Mr. Vrend into our classroom! He's a retired child psychologist and comes with plenty of experience with young children. We would like to set up a surprise farewell party for Ms. Leslie sometime in the next few weeks so if you're interested in helping out contact the main office. It'll be a wonderful opportunity for the parents to come down and meet Mr. Vrend. We will be sending home more information with your child(ren) as the date grows closer.**_

The next part was about Savannah and was hand-written in Ms. Chelsea's familiar loopy cursive.

_Jim and Pam:_

_You both must know that you have such a gorgeous daughter. We haven't had any problems with her whatsoever until just recently. Over the last few days that I have been with her she seems very paranoid and stressed out, especially after you leave. I meant to speak to you sooner but as you know I've been away on vacation for the past couple days. I find it peculiar that while you're away she cries for daddy but when you come to pick her up she seems like she wants nothing to do with daddy as long as mommy's there! _

_We put together a group of five children to ease Mr. Vrend into our environment. We carefully chose children that we knew already worked well together and were relatively calm tempered. Savannah was one of the first to go on our list. But Savannah has acted out very negatively to her change in caregiver. So much so that she throws fits that I've never seen from her before. This morning she threw a toy truck at Michael Corley. I want to make sure things are going on alright at home. If you have the time tomorrow morning I would love to speak with you both and decide what our next plan of action should be with one of my star kids. J_

_--Ms. Chelsea_

Jim was at a loss of words after finishing the note. The breathing on the other end reminded him he still had Ms. Erica on the line.

"Uh…I really don't know what to say," he said, laughing nervously. "We have noticed some changes in her. We had no idea she was acting out at daycare."

Pam stared at him quizzically before sliding the paper to herself.

"Would you and Pam be able to come in in the morning to speak with us?" Ms. Erica asked her voice gentle. Jim saw Pam's eyes widen. Savannah tried taking the paper from her, squirming anxiously and beginning to fuss again. It was as if she somehow knew it was about her.

"Yes. We'll see you in the morning."

"Alright…see you then."

Pam swallowed hard as Jim slowly hung up the phone. He leaned up against the counter, resting his chin in his hands. The position reminded Pam of the way he leaned over her desk at work. Savannah let out an aggravated 'what's _wrong_' whimper and hit the counter with the palms of her tiny hands. Jim bowed his head a little, squinting playfully at her.

"What is going on in that head Savannah?" he asked. He walked his fingers across the counter. Savannah watched his hand intently, a little smirk creeping across her face as she looked up into Jim's face. Pam smiled as Savannah recognized the game. His fingers gently crept up her leg and tickled her little belly. Savannah hunched her shoulders and giggled, her nose scrunching up in that baby bunny sort of way. Jim and Pam were quiet as Jim re-folded his arms in front of him. Savannah protested by lifting her arms over head and letting out a tiny shriek.

"A DAH!" she yelped.

"You know Littles…I knew you couldn't stay mad at me forever. Though I don't really know if I'll ever know what I did in the first place."

Pam more then willingly handed Savannah over to Jim, running her fingers through her hair. Savannah buried her face into Jim's shirt and whimpered softly, hanging on to his arms with her little hands.

"I hope we can figure some stuff out tomorrow," Pam sighed. "I didn't like this little period of being upset with daddy." She came over and put her arms around Jim, resting her head against Savannah's back.

"No," Jim agreed gently. "Neither did I."

* * *

Pam was a little nervous about meeting with Ms. Chelsea. She was one of the nicest people she had ever met and she couldn't thank her enough for taking such good care of Savannah. But after reading, and re-reading, the notes from the day before she was worried that she would get the wrong impression of them. _I just want to make sure everything is going alright at home_. Did she think they were hurting her? It made her stomach hurt thinking about it.

But coming out of the shower and seeing Jim wrestle with Savannah in the middle of the bedroom did a good deal to ease away her anxiety. Savannah hung from Jim's arm as he nuzzled into her side, causing her to shriek with giggles and topple over to the side where he was quick to catch her and set her upright again. Pam was happy Savannah's little insecurity stint seemed to be over. She was still trying to rationalize the behavior but Pam seemed to come up short every time. Maybe Savannah just somehow _knew_ Pam had needed her after seeing the pictures of her mother. Pam thought that was a lot for an 11 month old girl to figure out in her little brain.

"You don't think it's too early rough house?" Pam smiled, scooping Savannah up into her arms and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Savannah laughed and put her arms around Pam's neck, her little heart beating wildly in her chest. Jim lay on his side, grinning.

"It's never to early to rough house."

"Says you," Pam gave him a gently tap with the side of her foot and he gripped her ankle loosely. "Jim! I have to get Savannah dressed so we can go to school!"

"Alright, alright." Jim rolled over and rested his hands on his chest, staring at the ceiling. Savannah fussed a little as Pam put her into a little pink corduroy dress that had long sleeves and lighter colored pink stripes decorating the middle. Tiny pink 'Mary Jane' shoes matched perfectly, a tiny bow across the front. Jim stood up, watching as Pam brushed out Savannah's curls and the tiny girl grabbed hold of her wrist, obediently sitting still.

"Well Littles…I didn't think it was possible but I'm pretty positive you got cuter on us," Jim rested against the changing table in the same 'over the desk' position Pam recognized from the night before. Savannah just babbled in her incoherent way, revealing the two tiny teeth that had recently poked to the surface of her bottom gums.

"I think she may just keep getting cuter," Pam smiled as she ran her hand through Savannah's hair, admiring her work before lifting the little girl back into her arms.

"You ready?" Jim asked, resting his hand on her hip. He had seen the look of apprehension. His stomach was doing the flip-flops now too. Pam slowly nodded.

"I'm ready Daddy."

* * *

Jim thought the butterflies would go away once they entered into Savannah's daycare but they only multiplied as they found out the father of Michael Corley, the little boy Savannah had thrown the truck at a day earlier, had also been invited to attend the little conference.

"Please…sit down," Ms. Chelsea's voice did a lot to put the two at ease as she motioned for them to take a seat. The conference room was a lot smaller then the one they had back at the office but had pretty much the same setup. A long table with chairs on either side. The window on the wall over-looked the playroom. Ms. Erica and Leslie were in there with kids that had already been dropped off. Savannah and Michael were in the conference room with the others, Michael on his father lap crying miserably and Savannah in Pam's watching everyone calmly. Ms. Chelsea sat down and smiled gently at Jim and Pam.

"It's good to finally be able to sit down and talk with all of you. Savannah and Michael are such wonderful children."

"Thank you," Pam smiled. Jim couldn't help but feeling just a little bit proud.

"Well…they can't be _that_ great or else we wouldn't be here would we?" Michael's father grumbled. Jim's eyes widened a little. He was surprised by his negative tone. Ms. Chelsea stayed composed her voice coming out in that quiet, whisper-y tone.

"It's completely normal for kids, especially at this age, to want to be a little defiant and fussy with each other. I'm just worried about the abruptness in which Savannah and Michael's attitudes seem to have changed. They are both very well tempered children."

Michael had quit wailing and now his eyes were glued on Savannah who had grabbed Jim's hand and was poking at his watch with her tiny fingers. She seemed to be yammering up to Pam, every once and a while looking up at her as if to make sure she was listening.

"Well…nothing is _going on at home_ the way you're accusing," Michael's father growled. "He's a tough boy. All brothers. Maybe it's this nurturing womanly crap you guys are carrying on with that's getting to him."

"But that's just it Mr. Corley," Ms. Chelsea stated calmly. "As you know we have welcomed a new teacher to our staff. Mr. Vrend. When we introduced him was around the same time Michael started acting out. The same thing with Savannah."

"That's really strange. Savannah was resistant to Jim for a little while starting around Monday," Pam said, still trying to figure out a connection in her head. Ms. Chelsea nodded slowly.

"Why don't I call Mr. Vrend in here to talk to you?" She got up, leaving Jim and Pam alone with Michael and his father. Pam tensed when she felt him looking over at her.

"I'm really sorry about Savannah Mr. Corley," Jim apologized. "She normally doesn't act out like that."

"It's alright," he chuckled a little. "Kids will be kids." As the words left his mouth, Michael was snuggling into his arm and Pam could feel the wave of relief wash over her. He didn't seem to like Ms. Chelsea but other then that he seemed rather friendly. Him and Jim talked for a couple minutes before Ms. Chelsea returned to the room with Mr. Vrend. He was an older guy, maybe around mid-thirties, short stature with light hair and a casual look to him. Pam felt Savannah tense and within seconds she was cowering into her, whimpering like a wounded puppy dog before bursting into tears. Michael let out a howl from next to them and clawed up his fathers arm, gripping on to his neck for dear life.

"This…this is the kind of reaction we're pretty much getting every day," Ms. Chelsea raised her voice over the commotion created by the babies. Before Mr. Vrend could even open his mouth, Jim and Michael's father were on their feet.

"What are you doing to them?" Jim snapped his entire body tensing. Pam gripped his wrist, horrified. Mr. Vrend's eyes widened opening his mouth but no words making their way out.

"You better speak up boy!" Michael's father snapped, taking a few steps forward, backing Mr. Vrend into the wall. Ms. Chelsea and Pam both gasped.

"Mr. Corley! That'll be enough!"

Michael's father backed down a little but remained standing. Michael himself seemed quite bored with the whole thing, still clutching his fathers' neck tightly.

"I…understand why your children are reacting this way," Mr. Vrend said, rubbing his neck, his face pink with embarrassment. "Please let me explain. All I'm doing is trying to do is keep a job doing what I love to do."

"Terrify kids?" Jim spat.

"Please Jim," Pam pleaded. She pulled him back into his chair but his eyes never once left the perplexed man that stood awkwardly next to Ms. Chelsea. Savannah had her face buried into Pam's neck and she was clenching and unclenching the fabric of her long sleeve in her little hands.

"If you would sit down Mr. Corley I would like to talk about this," Ms. Chelsea said, somehow continuing to maintain her composure. Michael's father did as he was told but not without shooting her a hateful look of disapproval.

"This better be good," he said darkly, his voice rattling in his throat as he sat down. Pam felt sick to her stomach. Mr. Vrend sat down next to Ms. Chelsea placing his hands in front of him like a school child in trouble at the principal's office. To Pam's surprise he jumped in right away and began telling them about first coming to Pennsylvania in search of a job closer to home where he would be able to care for his sick mother. He explained how terrified he was applying for a job and about how his first days at work had been a nightmare. The kids in his group were calm tempered and very well behaved. He had no trouble with them until one morning when Savannah hit another little girl in their group. Mr. Vrend hadn't told anybody in fear of getting bad marks on his first day.

"I yelled at her," Mr. Vrend explained, his head bowed in shame. "I panicked. I think I scared her. Mike was right there. I must have scared him too. Since then they haven't been very keen on the idea of being in my group. They scream every time they see me."

The room had grown dead silent. Even Savannah and Michael had picked up on the mood in the room and were staring expectantly at each other. Jim and Michael's father were still staring at Mr. Vrend. But Jim's face had softened. He knew he had jumped to drastic conclusions and was relieved to know that it all had a reasonable explanation behind it. He even felt a little remorse towards Mr. Vrend, who was drenched in sweat, his pleading eyes darting back to Ms. Chelsea.

"I meant to tell you all about all of this as soon as I found out about it. But I felt that it would be better if we could all get together and discuss it together. I can assure you that Mr. Vrend is a qualified teacher. He had never been left completely alone with your children. Ms. Erica or myself have always been there to oversee things." Ms. Chelsea spoke in her normal quiet tone but Pam could tell this whole thing had upset her a great deal. She was just a young woman who liked being around kids. And she was beginning to realize the same was true for Mr. Vrend. He had just caught a bad break in the tiny forms of two relentlessly stubborn toddlers. Pam felt Savannah jump a little as Michael's father cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry…I jumped to conclusions. He's everything to me. What was I supposed to think when he started screaming his lungs out?"

"I understand," Mr. Vrend said quickly, his voice catching in his throat and coming out squeaky.

"We'll be taking Savannah and Michael out of Mr. Vrend's group. I hope that we can all leave on a positive note. And even more so I hope that you'll continue sending your children to us." Ms. Chelsea smiled and gently pat Pam's hand. Savannah opened and closed her hands at Jim and he gently eased her into his lap.

"No worries," Jim smiled. "She still needs somewhere safe and welcoming to go."

Ms. Chelsea stood up and hugged both Jim and Pam on their way out, shaking Michael's fathers' hand. Pam could feel Jim's hand slip into hers on the way out to the car.

"That was scary," Pam breathed, the cold January air feeling good on her warmed cheeks.

"Nah," Jim squeezed her gently. "It wasn't that bad."

"You're sure scary when you need to be," she remarked, a grin slowly making its way across her face. "I was scared for the poor guy for a while there." Jim smiled, looking down at Savannah. She had rested her head against his chest and was falling asleep, her fingers twisting around her curls.

"Anything for my baby."

* * *

"Can I feed her this?" Michael asked, turning Savannah's pink bottle around in his hands. Catching sight of it, Savannah sat up on her knees from her position on Dwight's lap, opening and closing her hands up at Michael.

"Bah bah bah!" she chanted happily. Her pacifier fell from her mouth and onto the ground. Pam was quick to pick it up and dust it off. After leaving daycare that morning Jim and Pam weren't really feeling like going home right away. They didn't want to work either but decided to find middle ground and bring Savannah in to Dunder Mifflin to say hi to everybody, most of whom had never met her in person.

"She is soooooooooo gorgeous!" Kelly had crooned. Shaking his head in playful disapproval Ryan had elbowed Jim in the ribs.

"What did I tell you? Savannah does _not_ look 18 to me yet."

Savannah was being surprisingly passive and outgoing. It was almost as if she already knew who everybody was from all the discussion that went on at home and now she was just putting names with faces. Kelly had been ecstatic and even bubblier while she held her. She squealed excitedly when Savannah laughed and touched her face.

"Ryan! Did you see that? She likes me!"

Pam had giggled and assured Ryan that it would be okay. Ryan's own apprehension seemed to be eased when later on Jim had stuck Savannah in his lap and the little girl latched on to his arm, grinning contently.

"You most certainly _can not_ feed her that right now," Dwight said. Jim smirked at the mortified look on Dwight's face as he took the bottle away from Michael. "It's not even Mini's nap time yet."

"Mini?" Michael asked.

At this Pam burst into giggles. Dwight never went against what Michael said and _never_ went as far as to correct him. But when it came to Savannah Dwight was sure he was the all mighty holder of knowledge. Savannah cried in frustration when he set the bottle just out of reach.

"Ma ma bah baaaah!" she cried, reaching out for Pam.

"Did you hear that? She said 'Mi...chael'," Michael said grinning.

"Well…she's said Dwight before," Dwight crossed his arms after handing Savannah over to Pam.

"She hasn't said Michael or Dwight before," Jim smiled, crossing his arms mimic-ly in the same way Dwight had.

"I'm sure she'll say Dwight first," Dwight said matter of factly. Savannah whimpered from Pam's arms, still wanting her bottle.

"Aww…Savannah…do you want some cookies?" Phyllis held out a box of vanilla wafers to Pam. Savannah pouted and Jim grinned, poking her little belly affectionately.

"Say 'no but I want that bottle you guys teased me with'. Huh Littles?"

"_Littles_?" Michael looked pitifully confused. Pam caught Jim's gaze and the both of them smiled. She knew he was thinking the same thing.

Work was definitely more fun this way.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"The area of Scranton Pennsylvania will be on a deep freeze watch, effective until 12 am Sunday morning. A mid level disturbance will move through the area tonight and into Saturday. A northwest flow of cold air will result in numerous snow showers and low wind chills so make sure you have all exposed pipes wrapped and pets taken care of."

The news was on low in the bedroom. It served as background noise as Jim and Pam busied about, getting ready. Angela and Dwight had offered to take Savannah for the night so Jim and Pam could have a romantic evening all to themselves. Pam was so excited and giddy she could hardly concentrate on straightening her wet hair, trying to chatter excitedly to Jim from the bathroom. He had picked out a restaurant called 'Rae's' that was close to home and very calm and casual. They had gone there a few nights when they first started dating when they wanted something not too overly dressy or expensive but a place to get away. Little did they know those occasions would be some of the last before Savannah would come and strip them of their freedom as a couple almost completely.

Jim had on one of his long sleeve button up shirts, the last 3 buttons leading up to his neck undone and his hair wet and scraggled every which way. Savannah was lying out on a towel on the bed, her curls damp and eyelashes clumped together with water. The three of them had taken a warm shower together, the experience a blur of wet skin, toothpaste, baby shampoo, and an abundance of giggles from everybody. Currently Jim was lathering Savannah up with baby lotion and laughing at how excited Pam was.

"Your very cute when your excited Beesly," he commented, holding Savannah in place while he felt around for her pajamas. He was so proud of the way she acted around their co-workers. She had even let Michael feed her her bottle before they left. Pam grinned, blushing slightly at the mention of her old nickname. It still brought a pleasantly giddy feeling to her stomach and already being riled up and excited about the night, it was all too perfect.

"Are you excited about having a sleepover with your Uncle Dwight and Aunt Angela?" Jim asked, slipping Savannah into her camouflage jammies. Savannah just grinned, holding a light-up teething ring in one hand and pushing a pacifier into her mouth with the other. Jim never imagined they would find such willing babysitters in the two of them. This would be their first night away from each other. Jim laid Savannah back on the bed and she was quick to open and close her hands up at Pam as she came out of the bathroom.

"How do I look?" she smiled, twirling in front of Jim. Her hair appeared longer straightened, lying neatly over her shoulders. Figuring it was way too cold to wear a skirt Pam had settled on a dressy red v-neck shirt and black jeans. Jim took her hand, gently spinning her in a circle.

"Wow," was the answer she got. "I think you're going to need to watch yourself tonight Beesly."

"Oh?" Pam grinned at Jim's seductive smile. He slowly moved some hair, still warm from the straightening iron, away from her shoulder. Pam felt lips on the skin under her ear and before she knew it chills were shooting through her body and her hands were gradually traveling down Jim's chest.

"Apa dah ama!" Savannah yelped in baby babble from her spot still on the bed. Tony, who had been sleeping comfortably wedged between the two pillows against the headboard, jumped up and shot out of the room. Pam giggled against Jim's shoulder.

"Okaaaaaay Littles…hold your horses," he laughed, picking the impatient little girl up into his arms. She smelled sweetly of shampoo and baby powder wasting no time in rubbing her face against Jim's shirt, telling them it was time for bed.

"Good," Pam said as they made their way into the kitchen. "She should go right to sleep for them." While she got a bottle ready, Jim swayed with Savannah watching as her eyes gradually grew droopier and droopier. He ran his hand through her hair.

"This is going to be our first night apart," he commented his eyes still on a sleepy Savannah.

"I know," Pam said twisting the lid onto Savannah's bottle. Her voice was still perky and excited for their night alone. Jim was feeling guilty as Savannah nuzzled into his face, cooing happily as she twisted the ends of his damp hair. He groaned softly and Pam had to giggle.

"Now Daaaddy…you shouldn't feel bad. Savannah is going to have so much fun. She won't even know were gone, she'll be sound asleep." She picked the diaper bag up off the rocking chair and handed Jim Savannah's coat.

"And we'll be right there in the morning for breakfast. Before she even wakes up," Jim reasoned, half for himself and half for Savannah. He knew she could care less what he was talking about though as she kicked her feet lazily when he set her down on the couch, easing a little arm into it's rightful sleeve.

"Ready?" Pam asked, hanging the diaper bag on his shoulder. Jim hoisted Savannah off the couch and set her into Pam's arms, giving her a big kiss on the head. Savannah giggled and cuddled under Pam's chin.

"Ready Momma."

* * *

"Mini is veeeeery sleepy Uncle Dwight so she should go right to sleep for you," Pam spoke in a soft baby tone. Dwight was slightly paranoid about the whole thing. 

"A few hours are fine. I can handle a few hours. But all _night_? What if we lose her?"

"We aren't going to lose her Dwight!" Angela snapped, her arms crossed. "Where would we lose her? She can't even _walk_ yet."

"Ah, contraire Angela. Don't let that fool you into thinking she can't get away from you. Savannah has the 'lightning speed' crawl down pat," Jim teased, elbowing her in the arm and loving the expression of quick horror that flashed across Dwight's face. Savannah was craning out of Pam's arms, opening and closing her hands at Dwight.

"Will you at least help us get set up? How are we even supposed to know how to get her to sleep?" Dwight asked, pulling Savannah into his arms. She was quick to rub her face into his shirt, whimpering fussily. Angela looked up at the two of them earnestly.

"I wouldn't have any objections to that," she said softly. Pam could tell this was really important to Angela. It was the biggest responsibility she had ever been given, at least from Jim and Pam, and Pam had put full trust in her. She wanted to prove to them they had made a good choice.

"Don't worry guys," Jim smiled, taking Savannah from Dwight. "We've got this down to a science. Hey Dwight…why don't you go lay down on the couch."

Dwight stared at Jim.

"This isn't some sort of test…,"

"Dwight…just do it!" Angela pushed him towards the living room.

"Fine…god…but I thought we were putting Mini to bed."

"We _are_!" Angela huffed. "God they're her parents Dwight! I think they know what they're doing more then we do."

Pam and Jim looked at each other at the same time, both adorning the same shy grin. They had never really heard it put that way before. Her _parents_. It sounded so weird. Unlike the night when she had seen her sister's picture, Pam didn't feel guilty or emotional. For the first time she felt good hearing it. She felt like maybe even…it was okay to embrace it.

"Okay…now what?" Dwight asked, lying out on the sofa.

"Is that what you're sleeping in?" Jim asked, nodding at the sweats and long sleeve Dwight was in. He rolled his eyes a little.

"I sleep in my underwear…,"

"Dwiiiiiight," Angela moaned, turning a light scarlet color. Pam couldn't stop giggling.

"Well…are you comfortable sleeping in that?"

Dwight shrugged.

"I suppose."

"Okay. So all you have to do is give her a kiss," Jim paused to kiss Savannah's nose. He gently set her down on to Dwight's chest and she immediately got comfortable under his chin. "Now…you feed her. And literally before you count to 100 she'll be out cold." Jim knelt down next to the sofa and eased Savannah's bottle into her mouth. She started to suck on it slowly, her eyes already beginning to close. Carefully Jim and Dwight swapped hands so Dwight was feeding her and Jim could get back to his feet. The room grew quiet, the only sounds coming from Savannah's content baby noises.

"Are…you sure she'll be okay?" Angela asked carefully, touching Savannah lightly on the back. She nuzzled underneath Dwight's chin, her eyes closed and mouth still working.

"She'll be wonderful," Pam beamed, squeezing Angela's arm gently. She gave them a soft smile.

"You're positive?"

The three of them looked back down at Dwight who was lazily rubbing Savannah's back as the tiny baby slept on his chest. Jim smiled.

"She's in good hands."

* * *

Dinner was spent cuddling in a booth towards the back of the restaurant. The atmosphere was like Pam remembered it. Cozy and cave-like, art work she envied decorating the walls, and the warm smell of cinnamon in the air. She had her head nestled in the crook of Jim's neck, absentmindedly twirling a loose string at the hem of his shirt around her finger. Jim kept his arms latched at her waist, every so often pressing a soft kiss to her temple. They had eaten chicken, potatoes, fried rice, and salad, their plates laying empty at the edge of the table. Everything was making Pam think of Savannah. 

"Would you two care for any desert?" their waiter came back to the table to bring them the check.

"Pam?" Jim asked softly into her hair.

"No…none for me," she yawned.

"We'll take our check," Jim smiled. "Thank you." When he looked down at Pam she was staring back up at him, her eyes full of peace and innocence. He kissed her nose and she yawned against his neck her hair tickling his chin.

"That was fun," Pam commented but she didn't sound too convinced.

"Buuut…?" Jim smiled gently.

"Buuut…," Pam paused. She nuzzled up to his ear to whisper. "I found a pacifier I left in my pocket from earlier." She paused again; Jim's thumb rubbing slow circles at her waist. As he continued lulling her gently his other hand crept into the pocket of her jeans and hooked around the familiar plastic of a pacifier. It was the red one, heart shaped that read 'I love my daddy' on it in cursive.

"Oh…I see," Jim sang giving Pam chills that raced up her arm. "That was fun _but_ Mommy's mind is somewhere else."

"Something like that," Pam grinned nuzzling his cheek and pressing a kiss to his jaw line.

"Well," Jim said his voice reaching her ears heavy and half-way seductive. "Let's see if we can't get Mommy's mind back on Daddy for one night."

* * *

Pam couldn't really remember all of what that Friday night had held. Though she did remember she had Jim all to herself. With no interruptions for 'ba-ba's or insistent demands for 'ma ma' or 'da da' _right now_. The sun warmed her bare back and she felt herself waking up in Jim's arms. Something she used to only dream about. His sleepy half grin and eyes that still held a gentle mischief made her stomach feel pleasantly fluttery. 

"Good morning Momma."

The chills were quick to return with his warm breath on the nape of her neck before a few gentle kisses to her still tired body.

"Hellooo Daddy." She stroked his head and the both of them were shaking lightly with giggles. It was waaaay too fun to be talking to each other this early.

"I had fun last night," he purred near her ear, running his hand slowly down her side. Pam fell into a mini giggle fit all the while Jim continued to nuzzle her.

"I did too," Pam admitted, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm not going to lie. This feels really good." Jim was quiet for a while. Every so often he would twirl the ends of Pam's hair.

"I had a dream about Savannah," he whispered, smiling. Pam giggled.

"Really? Me too."

"Do you think it's a sign?"

"That we love our daughter?" Pam whispered. The worlds felt sweet on her tongue. _Our_ _daughter_. It was still all so new all so _different_.

"Should we go see her?" Jim asked not trying to hide the eagerness in his voice. Pam smiled.

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

"Do you think she's ever done that before?" Dwight asked his head set slightly to the side as he spoke in a tone of soft curiosity. Savannah held onto the cushions for balance as she walked herself down the length of the sofa on wobbly legs. She turned around, almost as if to see if Dwight was following her or not. When she ran out of couch she let go and crawled back over to where he was sitting. 

"She's probably done it before," Angela answered. She was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with a cup of coffee clasped in her hands. The chime of the doorbell startled Savannah and she perked up a little grabbing hold of Dwight's pajama pants.

"Coming!" Angela called, quick to make her way to the front door.

"Good morning!" Pam grinned when she opened the door, already dressed in a light blue turtle neck and jeans. "How did it go?"

"Ma ma ma ma ma!"

"Littles!" Pam laughed as Savannah practically leapt from Dwight's arms into hers as soon as he came into the entry way. She cuddled her close to her chest and Savannah made happy noises in her ear.

"No love for me Littles?" Jim pouted playfully and kissed the baby on her curly head.

"Adah!" she grinned, though she remained content in Pam's arms.

"She was amazing," Angela said, cutting off the stream of frigid air as she closed the door. "She slept through the night and didn't even wake up until about half an hour ago."

"It's good she's getting acquainted with me," Dwight remarked, all business. "We're going to need a connection if we're ever going to take over the world." Jim smirked.

"I think we may want to master walking, talking, and holding a spoon before we get there Dwight."

"She definitely likes you guys," Pam smiled. "You did so good Littles!"

Savannah had her head rested against Pam's shoulder, swaying her little slipper-ed feet back and forth lazily.

"So we've given it some thought," Jim said patting Savannah's back. "And we'd like you two to help us throw Savannah's birthday party next weekend."

"Really?" Dwight's eyes widened. "The Harry Potter Star Wars theme?"

Pam grinned.

"Yes…on Friday we want to see if we can have a birthday party at the office. We'll talk to Michael on Monday…"

"Consider it taken care of," Dwight put his hand up to his head in a solute. "You will not be disappointed."

Angela groaned a little.

"Are you sure this is a good idea Pam? Maybe we could talk to a professional?"

Pam exchanged a look with Jim and smiled.

"What could go wrong?"

* * *

**Next Chapter Preview: Preperations for Savannah's 1st birthday go awry as we get a visit from our old friend (or foe?) ;-) Thanks for reading!!**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Additional Notes:

_Savannah_ _seemed a little melancholy and sleepy today. We spent the morning celebrating one of her classmate's birthday and I think she was a little taken aback that all the attention was on a different baby today. I know hers is coming up! She also didn't want to go down for nap time. Other then that she was amazing as usual J_

_--Ms. Chelsea_

"Are you okay bubble head?" Pam poked Savannah's sides affectionately and instead of getting her signature squeal-y giggles she got a frown in return as she used both of her little hands to push Pam's away. "Bubbles!" she frowned back at her. "How come you're in a mood today?"

After coming home from work that Monday Pam had flopped over on the couch, anxious to have some play time with Savannah. Her report card sat out on the coffee table in front of her.

"Is she still being difficult?" Jim asked coming out of the bedroom sans work clothes, his feet padding softly across the carpet as he made his way towards the rocking chair next to the couch.

"Say 'yes I am…Daddy'," Pam handed Savannah over to Jim.

"It's because you missed nap time huh Littles?" Jim nuzzled into her forehead and was promptly nuzzled back as Savannah whined and rubbed at her eyes tiredly. Pam groaned.

"We can't let her go to sleep now. She won't be tired for bed."

"Ah…this is going to be a pleasant evening," Jim sighed. But Savannah proved Jim's sarcasm wrong as she behaved rather well the rest of the night, just fussing now and then because she was sleepy. After bath and a bottle Savannah fell right to sleep in the crook of Pam's arm, her chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Pam yawned ready to climb into bed. The wind was rattling the window noisily in the kitchen.

Tony was head butting into Jim's side, mewing for him to move off of 'his' rocking chair.

"Ready for bed?" Jim asked, finally giving in and standing up. Tony was quick to scramble up into the already warmed spot. "You're such a spoiled cat." He playfully flicked his ear and Tony paused in his paw licking to growl at him.

"Ready for bed," Pam yawned, cradling Savannah before standing up. The little girl nuzzled into her chest and continued her slumber. Jim helped her up and led her slowly to the bedroom by the hand. Once they got there Pam set Savannah gently down in her crib. She barely stirred and continued sleeping peacefully.

"She's so pretty," Jim grinned, snaking his arm across Pam's waist as she rested her head against him.

"Yes she is," she agreed. She bent over to give her a last kiss on the bridge of her nose. "Goodnight little girl."

* * *

Nuzzling up to Pam, Jim soon fell into a deep sleep his arms locked around her. His mind was far from sleepy though, tossing him into a dream filled sleep.

Pam was standing on the porch of a beautiful vanilla colored house. She was wearing a flowing white dress, her curls damp and tumbled beautifully down her back. Tony was prancing around the vast front yard, his tail swishing every which way as he scampered after butterflies and pounced on grasshoppers. Jim unhooked the picket fence in front of him and entered the yard, Pam moving gracefully towards him. They met halfway and locked into a kiss, her hands fluttery on his neck. They pulled away just enough for Pam to speak.

"Welcome home Daddy." He could taste her strawberry breath on his lips.

"Where's Savannah?" Jim could hear himself whisper, his hands gently kneading into her back.

"Savannah," Pam called softly. "Savannaaaah. Daddy's home."

"Daddy!"

Jim looked up to see a beautiful little girl running towards him. She was about 5 or 6 years old. Familiar strawberry blonde curls wisped around her face as she continued running, dressed in a dress just like Pam's. Her blue eyes were big and gentle full of love and excitement as she leapt into Jim's arms.

"Daddy I missed you," she cooed against his cheek, little hands clasping around his neck.

"Savannah?" Jim questioned a lump growing in his throat. He pulled away to stare at her. As his eyes locked into hers he knew it was her. "Is it really you?"

The little girl giggled and it was like a shy melody to his ears. Tears filled his eyes.

"Yes silly. Who else would I be?"

"Savannah…you're so big Littles!" he kissed her gently. "You're so beautiful. You look just like your Mommy."

The little girl turned around to smile at Pam as Jim nuzzled into her curls. She still smelled like baby powder and lilacs.

"See momma? I told you he'd be back," she turned around to beam at Jim. "Don't leave anymore Daddy. You have to stay here and play with me and Mommy okay?"

Jim couldn't help but let the tears waterfall down his cheeks.

"No Littles," he whispered, running his hand through her hair. "I'm staying right here."

Sharp cries would awake Jim the next morning. He would find his baby, a normal almost 12 month old girl, lying in her crib. Not the little girl from his dreams. But he liked it that way. He liked still having a tiny baby to cradle and love and sway with and tickle and feed and sing to. The future seemed too far off. He wanted to live in the here and now.

But the dream stuck to him.

He didn't want to forget.

* * *

Michael of course gave the go ahead for a Dunder Mifflin birthday party the day before Savannah's birthday. Savannah's actual birthday would be spent with Jim and Pam. The whole next week was full of lunch breaks spent locked in the conference room with Angela, Meredith, and Phyllis coming up with fun ideas for a baby girls birthday party. Dwight was taking the full lead on the decorations saying he didn't want them to screw up the 'theme' too badly. Jim spent every day with a smirk on his face watching Dwight come up with new completely crazy ideas. He of course refused to let him help.

"You'll just mess it up. I have this thing working perfectly," Dwight sneered. Jim just shook his head.

"We'll see Dwight. We'll see."

* * *

The morning of February 13th seemed to come rather slowly. Party planning for the party had been of full speed the entire week. Pam couldn't wait to wake up Savannah and bring her to work. They had taken the 13th and 14th off for Savannah's birthday and didn't have to go in early but excitement had woken her up anyway.

The little girl was still sleeping soundly in her crib at 10:00. A brand new pink blanket with baby bunnies playing across the soft fabric was tucked around her tiny figure. Her soft curls were a mess around her ears and her little hand was clenching and unclenching the ear of one of her stuffed puppy dogs. Pam reached down to gently rub her cheek.

"Littles," she cooed softly. "Baby bunny."

Savannah stirred a little, whimpering as she rolled over onto her belly and opened her eyes. Pam scooped her up and cradled her in her arms. Savannah smiled when she saw her.

"Hi baby," Pam kissed her nose and stroked her lovingly. "Do you know what today is?"

Pam was surprised that Savannah was letting her cradle her like she used to when she was smaller. Now a days Savannah was eager to be held upward where she could see everything that was going on. She didn't struggle but cooed loud and happy into the calm silence of the bedroom.

"That's right!" Pam giggled softly. "It's the day before my Savannah's birthday birthday!"

Savannah stared up at her with big innocent eyes so soft and gentle and just full of the energy that had become the bubbly little girl she was. She had experienced so much in her first year of life and Pam was a little anxious to see what was to come for them in the future. She was still scheduled to see their family service worker later on in the month. Pam wanted to make things with Savannah final. So maybe the feeling of anxiousness would finally go away. Finally holding Savannah close to her chest and knowing she was _hers _would be so gratifying. Knowing she could finally raise her sisters little girl as her own. Alongside the man she was sure had been destined as her soul mate.

"Who's making all this noise over here huh?"

Pam felt strong arms lock around her waist, gruff sleepy-voice vibrating pleasantly against her neck.

"Dah dah," Savannah wiggled around in Pam's arms to sit up and reach out to Jim.

"Jim," Pam whined as Jim took Savannah gingerly from her arms and held her high above his head. She squealed excitedly, clapping her little hands together.

"Yes momma?" Jim had brought Savannah back down to his chest and she was resting her head against him. The picture was of full contentment and love and Pam had trouble finding her words.

"Awww boo," she whispered instead, reaching out to tuck a light mahogany colored curl behind her ear. "You're so pretty." Savannah reached out to Pam and she kissed her little hand, sticky and sweet tasting against her mouth.

"I'm sorry Littles. Were you spending some quiet time with your momma?" Jim kissed her on the head and placed her back into Pam's arms. Savannah just cooed and babbled, bouncing lightly. Jim laughed and kissed Pam gently on the lips. "I'm sorry for stealing her."

"Don't be silly," Pam dismissed it, kissing Savannah again as the little girl played with her hair.

"Should we start getting ready?" Jim asked. "I want to make a pit stop before heading to the office."

"Oh?" Pam grinned. "Where to?"

"It's a surprise," Jim sang and smiled at the look on Pam's face. "It'll be fun. I promise."

* * *

The snow fall had let up slightly but the three of them still had to bundle up on the way out. Savannah was babbling up a storm from her car seat, full and warm after her breakfast.

"Where are we gooooing?" Pam giggled, squeezing Jim's side playfully.

"Just trust us," Jim smiled. "Savannah and I know what we're doing right Littles?"

Savannah just squealed as Pam tickled her little leg. Pam was feeling excited about the day to come. 'Daydream Believer' started playing softly from the radio and Jim turned it up, singing along to the familiar 'Monkees' melody. Pam couldn't help but giggle, turning her attentions back to Jim. Savannah waved her arms around and cooed, swaying her head side to side to the music. Soon Pam joined in and the two of them sang and giggled together while Savannah babbled to them from the backseat.

_Cheer up, Sleepy Jean. Oh, what can it mean? To a daydream believer and a homecoming queen._

* * *

Jim's surprise pit stop had turned out to be the little park he had taken Savannah to back in November when Pam was sick.

"See Littles? I told you we'd have to bring your momma here when she felt better."

Pam smiled, latching on to Jim's arm her face already wind-burnt and raw from the wind.

"Ma ma," Savannah pointed to the swings from Jim's arms. She recently started pointing to see what kind of reaction she'd get back from Jim and Pam. Pam giggled and playfully wrestled her out of Jim's arms. She felt warmed as the little girls giggles rang through her ears, tiny baby feet kicking happily every which way.

"Should Daddy push us on the swings Littles?"

Savannah just rocked happily, content with her position in Pam's arms. Pam picked out a swing in the middle. The park was completely empty. They had free run all to themselves.

"Ready?" Jim asked as Pam gripped onto one of the metal chains with one hand and secured Savannah on her lap with the other. Jim grabbed hold of either side of them, lifting the swing slowly.

"Ready!" Pam called. Jim let go, swinging them nice and gentle. Savannah's eyes widened reacting to the new experience. She turned around to clutch Pam, unsure of what was going on.

"You're swinging baby!" Jim said, rubbing her back comfortingly as the swung back to him. After a little while Savannah unclenched Pam's shirt and started to laugh as they continued to swing back and forth in a steady rhythm. Jim started to sing 'Daydream Believer' again only fully remembering the words to the chorus. Pam laughed feeling Savannah bounce on her lap and yelp out in excitement as the swing met Jim again, hitting him lightly against the legs.

"Pam! Haha I thought it was you!"

Pam didn't think it was possible for her mood to change so drastically in a matter of 10 seconds. But the familiar low voice carrying from behind her made her heart drop. Savannah was still clutched on to her neck, giggling and shrieking as Jim caught her when the swing came back to him. He steadied the chain with his hand.

"Hey…Richard," Pam slowly made her way off the swing, turning around to confirm her worry. Richard was standing there in a sweat soaked grey shirt, iPod headphones hanging from his ears.

"How are things?" he asked taking a swig from his water bottle. Savannah didn't even seem to notice Richard as Jim ignored him completely, continuing to play with her.

"Fine. We were just about to leave," Pam fidgeted obviously unsettled.

"Where you headed? Maybe we could go have lunch…,"

"Oh no...thank you that's very nice ," Pam offered a gentle smile. "We just ate actually. We're off to Dunder Mifflin; our co-workers are throwing a birthday party for Savannah."

"Oh," Richard said. Jim knew he was trying to sound uninterested. "When did you go back to work? Who takes care of Savannah?"

"Not too long ago," Pam said rubbing her cold hands together. "She goes to an amazing daycare. She has a lot of fun there."

"Hey babe…we don't want to be late," Jim rested his hand on Pam's waist and kissed her temple continuing to ignore Richard.

"See you around," Pam gave a little wave before following Jim back to the car.

Leaving Richard alone to stand awkwardly in the middle of the empty park.

* * *

**Next chapter preview: The Party (s)!** --I promise-- 


End file.
